They Took Us Away

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Sunday, November 30, 2014

Barbaric: Closed Adoptions #flipthescript #NAAM2014



Pray for mothers across the planet so they can keep their children with them until they grow big and strong.... (from my memoir One Small Sacrifice)

By Trace (Adoptee-Lost Bird)


How many more Lost Birds will lose hope unless laws change?  This breaks my heart again and again. I can’t take their journey for them. I can’t open their sealed adoption records for them. I will work with them and put them in touch with search angel Karen Vigneault. I also recommend DNA testing now. I recommend ceremony now.



I heard stern warnings from elders, too. I was taught if people are not receptive to your words, let them proceed – even into difficulty or dangerous circumstances. It is the only way they’ll learn. This does not mean I should not pay attention – it’s just means that taking care of someone else’s pain could be harmful to me. There are many books on being co-dependent. It is no way to live.



Each adoptee must journey their own way, as far as they can. I’ve learned this.

I've made my share of mistakes definitely. I did try to push myself and rush things. I acted impatient and hurt. I finally learned to take my journey as it happens, and not try to control it.

Adoption laws protect adoption agencies and social workers from lawsuits and shelter adoptive parents who think we are "theirs."

Adoptees must face the pain with these archaic laws, adoption myths, government sealed files and no answers. If people really understood, there would be no more closed adoptions.


Those who conduct adoptions must take a much closer look at the harm on infants, adoptee trauma, birth psychology, stress and mental illness. The system of closed adoption, in the words of one lawyer, is barbaric.


One day we will all look back at this and say “how did we ever let this happen to innocent children?” 
 


If you are still searching, contact me and Karen Vigneault. (See header for more info) 

************
Trafficking in Babies?
Here is a link to a story about the Nightlight Adoption Agency who brokered the sale of Baby Veronica.
PURE PROPAGANDA - take a look for yourself...  Together for adoption?  
That's what they say... A child who has a parent who wishes to raise them is not an orphan but a commodity, someone sold into adoption, which is trafficking...Lara/Trace
HERE
 

Saturday, November 29, 2014

#FLIPTHESCRIPT allows adoptees to have their voices heard


NEW YORK (MYFOXNY) -
For those who have been adopted, a new social media movement called "Flip the Script" has been enabling adult adoptees to have their voices heard.

Joy Lieberthal Rho, an adoptee herself who has worked in the field of adoption for 15 years, joined us to talk about "Flip the Script." It's a platform that gives adoptees a chance to have their voices heard. They share stories about their adopted families who they love deeply and those who had horrible experiences and who have survived..

#Flipthescript is a Twitter hash-tag movement and YouTube video headed by Rosita Gonzalez at the
adoptee-centric collaborative writing group, Lost Daughters.

The movement's phase “Flip the Script” originated with Amanda Transue-Woolston in a video trailer for a book called “Dear wonderful you: letters to adopted and fostered youth.” Amanda also started a
website called Thelostdaughters.com. It provides a forum for adult female adoptees.



Please watch HERE

NATIVE ADOPTEE BIBLIOGRAPHY



 

Indian Adoption Project

Harness, Susan Devan, Mixing Cultural Identities Through Transracial Adoption: Outcomes of the Indian Adoption Project (1958-1967) Edwin Mellen Press, NY. 2009

DeMeyer, Trace A., One Small Sacrifice: A Memoir.  Lost Children of the Indian Adoption Projects, Create Space/Amazon, 2010/2012

Busbee, Patricia, DeMeyer, Trace., Two Worlds: Lost Children of the Indian Adoption Projects, (Book One) Blue Hand Books, 2012

Busbee, Patricia, DeMeyer, Trace., Called Home: Lost Children of the Indian Adoption Projects, (Book Two) Blue Hand Books, 2014

Bilchik, S. (2001, April 24). [Keynote address]. Speech presented at the 19th Annual Protecting our Children Conference, Anchorage, AK.

Child Welfare League of America. (1960, April). Indian Adoption Project. New York: Author.
Demer, L. (2001, May). Native receive apology for 1950s racial adoptions. Pathways Practice Digest, 1-2.

Jacobs, Margaret D., White Mother to a Dark Race: Settler Colonialism, Maternalism, and the Removal of Indigenous Children in the American West and Australia, 1880-1940 (2009)

Jacobs, Margaret D., A Generation Removed: The Fostering and Adoption of Indigenous Children in the Postwar World (Sept 1, 2014) 

Lyslo, A. (1962, December). Suggested criteria to evaluate families to adopt American Indian children through Indian Adoption Project. New York: Child Welfare League of America.

Lyslo, A. (1964). The Indian Adoption Project: An appeal to catholic agencies to participate. Catholic Charities Review, 48(5), 12-16.

Lyslo, A. (1967, March). 1966 year end summary of the Indian Adoption Project. New York: Child Welfare League of America.

Lyslo, A. (1967). Adoptive placement of Indian children. Catholic Charities Review, 51(2), 23-25.

Lyslo, A. (1968, April). The Indian Adoption Project – 1958 through 1967: Report of its accomplishments, evaluation and recommendations for adoption services to Indian children. New York: Child Welfare League of America.
 

Outcomes for Transracially Adoption Native American Children

Bagley, C., Young, Y. (1979). The identity, adjustment and achievement of transracially adopted children: A review and empirical report. In G. K. Verman and C. Bagley (Eds.), Race, education and identity (pp. 192-219). New York: St. Martin’s Press.

Berlin, I. N. (1978). Anglo adoptions of Native Americans: Repercussions in adolescence. American Academy of Child Psychiatry, 17(2), 387-388.

Brooks, D.; Barth, R. P. (1999). Adult transracial and inracial adoptees: Effect of race, gender, adoptive family structure, and placement history on adjustment outcomes. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 69(1), 87-99.

Fanshel, D. (1972). Far from the reservation: The transracial adoption of American Indian children. Metuchen, NJ: The Scarecrow Press, Inc.

Green, B. E., Sack, W. H., Pambrum, A. (1981). A review of child psychiatric epidemiology with special reference to American Indian and Alaska Native children. White Cloud Journal, 2(2), 22-36).

Green, H. J. (1983). Risks and attitudes associated with extra-cultural placement of American Indian children: A critical review. Journal of the American Academy of Child Psychiatry, 22(1), 63-67.

Knapp, J. (2002, March). My adoption meant personal loss, but I don’t look for blame. Pathways Practice Digest, 1-2.

Kowal, L. A., Schilling, K. M. (1985). Adoption through the eyes of adult adoptees. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 55(3), 354-362.

Locust, Carol (2000, October). Split Feathers: Adult American Indians who were placed in non-Indian families as children. Ontario Association of Children’s Aid Societies Journal, 44(3), 11-16.

Magagnini, S. (1997, June 5). Indian adoptees go in search of roots. The Sacramento Bee, p. A20.

Massatti, R. R., Vonk, E. M., Gregorie, T. K. (2004). Reliability and validity of the transracial adoption parenting scale. Research on Social Work Practice, 14(1), 43-50.

McDonald, T. P., Propp, J. R, Murphy, K. C. (2001). The post-adoption experience: Child, parent, and family predictors of family adjustment to adoption. Child Welfare, 80(1), 71-94.

Melmer, D. (2004, February 18). ‘Split Feather’ syndrome addressed at S.D. committee hearing. Indian Country Today. Retrieved May 8, 2006, from  http://www.indiancountry.com/content

Rathbun, C., McLaughlin, H., Bennett, C., & Garland, J. A. (1965). Later adjustment of children following radical separation from family and culture. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 35, 604-609.

Robin, R. W., Rasmussen, J. K., Gonzalez-Santin, E. (1999). Impact of childhood out-of-home placement on a southwestern American Indian tribe. Journal of Human Behavior in the Social Environment, 2(1/2), 69-89.

Rosene, L. R. (1985). A follow-up study of Indian children adopted by white families. Dissertation Abstracts International.

Rosenthal, R. A. (1981). Triple jeopardy: Family stresses and subsequent divorce following the adoption of racially and ethnically mixed children. Journal of Divorce, 4(4), 43-54.

Ryant, J. C. (1984). Some issues in the adoption of Native children. In P. Sachdev (Ed.), Adoption: Current issues and trends (pp. 169-180). Toronto: Butterworth & Co. Ltd.

Schmidt, B. W. (2001, March). Adopted Indians seek roots. Pathways Practice Digest, 1,10 -11.

Sharma, A. R., McGue, M. K., Benson, P. L. (1996). The emotional and behavioral adjustment of United States adopted adolescents: Part I. An overview. Children and Youth Services Review, 18, 83-100.

Silverman, A. R., Feigleman, W. (1990). Adjustment in interracial adoptees: An overview. In D. K. Brodzinsky and m. D. Schechter, (Eds.), The psychology of adoption (pp. 187-200). New York: Oxford University Press.

Topper, M. D. (1979). Mormon placement: The effects of missionary foster families on Navajo adolescents. Ethos: The Journal of the Society for Psychological Anthropology, 7(2), 162-160.

Verrier, N. M. (1993). The primal wound: Understanding the adopted child. Baltimore, MD: Gateway Press, Inc.

Westermeyer, J. (1979). The Apple Syndrome in Minnesota: A complication of racial-ethnic discontinuity. Journal of Operational Psychiatry, 10(2), 134-140.

Hawk, S. (2001, May). An honor song and pow wow for returning lost birds. Pathways Practice Digest, 4-5.

First Nations Adoption (Canada)


Bagley, C. (1991). Adoption of Native children in Canada: A policy analysis and a research report. In H. Alstein and R. J. Simon (Eds.),  Intercountry adoption: A multinational perspective (pp. 56-79). New York: Praeger Publishers.

Fournier, S. Crey, E. (1997). Stolen from our embrace: The abduction of First Nations children and the restoration of Aboriginal communities. Vancouver, BC: Douglas & McIntyre, Ltd.
Johnston, P. (1983). Native children and the child welfare system. Toronto: James Lorimer and Company.

Lipman, M. (1984). Adoption in Canada: Two decades in review. In P. Sachdev (Ed.), Adoption: Current issues and trends, (pp. 30-42). Toronto: Butterworth & Co. Ltd.

Morse, B. (1984). Native Indian and Metis children in Canada: Victims of the child welfare system. In G.

K. Verma and C. Bagley (Eds.), Race relations and cultural differences (pp. 259-277). New York: St. Martin’s Press.

Swift, S. (1999). One of those kids: AFN and other try to restore faded tribal ties for Canada’s Native adoptees. American Indian Report, 15(10), 22-24.

Ward, M. (1984). The adoption of Native Canadian children. Cobalt, Ontario: Highway Book Shop.


(This is not a complete list but some were published in the anthology Two Worlds.)

and some of my favorite links:

Friday, November 28, 2014

Why are adoptees doing it; scams to Adopt #NAAM2014 #flipthescript

PJ Whiskeyman of Littitz, Pa., at her computer.
PJ Whiskeyman of Littitz, Pa., sought to adopt two girls from Ukraine whose pictures she saw on an adoption service Web site.  Sasha Aslanian/American RadioWorks

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Adoptees who can't #FlipTheScript #breaksilence #adoption


By Trace (Adoptee-Author-Blogger)

After you read this post at Lost Daughters blog by Rebecca, HERE, I wanted to share a story about what happened to me in Wisconsin in 2008. I was invited to read an excerpt from my memoir at the Wisconsin Book Festival in Madison.

My memoir One Small Sacrifice wasn't done. It was a draft. It had changed almost daily. I knew it had holes in it.

I was having trouble finding and proving the Indian Adoption Project(s) had happened on paper.  I was using internet archives.

I was not finding adoptees who wrote narratives. I was not finding news articles.

I knew I was one voice among thousands of Lost Birds/Split Feathers. THOUSANDS!

This troubling chapter of history (Indian adoption projects run by the governments of Canada and America) and the truth of this intended genocide was buried, hidden.  Even academics had not caught on. Some were writing about residential boarding schools, not adoption.

The Native adoptees I was finding had not spoken to anyone. More than one adoptee said to me, I thought I was alone. I thought I was the only one.

Well their words echo in me even today...

Some adoptees are still not aware that there are thousands of others just like us - in the next town, in the next village, in the next county.

That happened here in western Massachusetts where I live.  One village over, I meet Daniel, a Lakota adoptee; we met at a ceremony in Wisconsin. Then I met another in the next town, an adoptee from Boston who is Inuit.

If adoption intended to isolate us from other adoptees, from our tribes, from our first families, they did it very successfully. Closed adoption succeeded by isolating us, by silencing us, paralyzing us, alienating us.

There is this silent shame in being adopted, lost to our tribes because of a government plan to erase Indian children from tribal rolls.

I felt such shame, and abandoned. Yet I was afraid to upset my adoptive parents. I was afraid something might be wrong with me. I was afraid to look for answers. I did not have friends helping me process what to do, what was next. I could not afford a private detective.

The inventors of this genocide experiment were successful until my first story about the Indian Adoption Projects ran in Talking Stick in NYC in 2005.  The article "Generation after Generation, We are Coming Home" broke that silence. Then adoptees found me. They broke their silence too.
If I had not met adoptees like me, I would not have been able to finish my memoir.

Two books, their narratives, stories written by Native adoptees soon followed - Two Worlds and Called Home.  These books will reach more adoptees like us. I wish I'd had these books when I was 22 and just starting my search. I had nothing to go on, and very little hope.

At the end of my reading in Wisconsin, a young man came up and said he was adopted too. Painfully shy, he admitted that he was afraid of upsetting his adopted parents if he tried to look for his first family.  He had not even tried because Wisconsin had sealed their adoption files tight as a drum. He was also scared of the expense ($$$) of looking!  I told him I understood and how many of us adoptees suffer from a "gratitude attitude," when we feel silenced and afraid. I told him to start his search when he was ready and I'd help him. I told him to contact me.

I gave him what I knew he needed: HOPE.


Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Adoptees flip the script - TV news today

Adoptees flip the script - DC News FOX 5 DC WTTG

Daniel Ibn Zayd on answering questions #flipthescript #Adoption

I would give anything for one minute of one day to not think about adoption...

- Daniel Ibn Zayd
By Trace

I'm rereading Daniel's blog... from last year. He did a series on 30 answers to 30 questions which should be viewed as the BIBLE of adoptee literature. For example:

Why are adoptees never asking, always answering questions?


This is the final question in the series: “Anti-adoption month: 30 answers to 30 questions on adoption” [link].

This is the “meta” question that is only revealed after years spent answering such questions as represented by the past month of answers, and which themselves only skim the surface of what need be discussed. Reframed, this might be asked thusly:
When is it our turn to ask the questions? When is it our turn to find answers? At long last, at what point do we assume any kind of position of strength among all of this seemingly endless back and forth, both with others, and among ourselves?


[Note: the comments on his blog are often made by adoptees who offer amazing reflections as well... so go over and read up... It's Adoption Awareness Month! Trace]

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Lost Birds and DNA #Adoption #flipthescript

I posed this question on Facebook, asking Native adoptees why they chose to do a DNA test...Trace

This is a repost by Mary Charles (Adoptee-Writer)

I somehow don't believe the intention was for us (adoptees) to find our homes using DNA. But when I came across these "family" finders, my journey went full speed ahead.

Being an adoptee, I originally just wanted to know my ethnicity. To confirm what I felt in my heart but I never had access to the truth. I was told my birth father was 1/4 Aleutian Indian from Alaska. At the time, the DNA company also offered medical evaluation to help see if you may possibly carry genes to hereditary diseases. The government stepped in and laid that service to rest.  I literally had no concept of having a relative who shared DNA with me.  I didn't even hope to find anyone when I submitted my spit.
     
So, I spit in the cup and sent if off last fall. My results were astonishing. My DNA read 51% European and 49% Native American and Asian. That was news.
The biggest shocker was a 25% DNA match that the company saw has me being this man's aunt. We had the same exact birth date only a year apart. He was 99.9% European and an adoptee as well. I did my little chromosome research and quickly concluded that he was my half brother although every search angel, friend and even my half-bro could not believe our connection. I went with my instinct, we made quick friends and he helped me out.  At some point, he was given the name of our birth mother and some notes from Catholic Charities about her. 
     
It took a few months and I did locate her which was also confirmed through another 2nd cousin on my DNA listed from her family tree. But, this is where making connections and contacting your closest cousins on your DNA list comes in handy. Also, contact cousins who have taken the time to make family trees and have a genuine interest in genealogy. E-mail as many as you can. Some will be so happy to help, others you will hear nothing. When you get names, just send quick emails like, "Hi cousin, do you have so and so on your list?"  Friend them on the social media as well. 
In time my birth mother furnished me the name of my birth father and acknowledged she did indeed adopt out my half brother a year later. When I posted my fathers name on the social media it flew like a wildfire. In a matter of hours I had a gazillion Alaskan Native relatives who wept, called me on the phone and sent photos of my father who died in 1992. They know about us. They do want us back. 
     
I am now in the process of doing even more DNA tests with my relatives. The State I was born in has closed records and are still defiant. When I sent for my non-ID, they would not provide me with any information on my birth father when I specifically asked for his ethnicity. Concluding, they are still trying to keep us unaware and I find it so very racist. To give me the white card and to think it's OK. 
My father was full blood Koyukon Athabascan. My birth mother has since told me that the hospital asked her what my ethnicity was because they were not sure if I was half "black" at the time. She told the hospital my father was full blood Native and to this very day are still trying to hide it by not providing me with my records. Records they probably falsified anyway by lowering his blood quantum and changing his tribal lineage. Man, wish I could sue their asses. 
OK, back to DNA... my family in AK and I have submitted DNA to provide lineage. The tribe understands that the government won't be of help and will accept our DNA samples for enrollment purposes. I am waiting results. Like I said, go for it. They want us home.
     
For those who are apprehensive about searching and being non-loyal to your adoptive folk: Get your wings on. Your life is about you. You cannot be the best person in this life unless you fulfill your inner calling. Take control of and start the path your feet are ready to walk. There you will feel fresh wind in your hair and lift your wings to take flight.


Thank you Mary! Mary is one of the contributors in the anthology CALLED HOME. LINK

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Scandals #Adoption #flipthescript

By Trace

The United States is responsible for most intercountry adoptions in the world: 20,000 out of the total 30,000 total orphans adopted annually. (Remember that these children are not actually orphans.)
In many cases, the prospective adoptive parents (PAPs) are motivated by a sense of altruism, (saving a child), coupled with their desire to overcome infertility and fulfill the Western standard of the nuclear family.

Ignorance is no longer an excuse. Google "Adoption Scandals" - and this pops up:

List of international adoption scandals

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The following is a partial list, by year, of notable incidents or reports of international adoption scandals,[1][2][3][4][5] adoption corruption, child harvesting, baby-stealing, legal violations in international adoption, or adoption agency corruption (see child laundering; child trafficking:[6][7] "In the United States international adoptions are a big business, where a large number of private international adoption agencies are paid on average $30,000 a time to find a child for hopeful parents."[8]

Contents

Child laundering

Child laundering is a scheme whereby intercountry adoptions are effected by illegal and fraudulent means. It usually involves the trafficking of children which is usually illegal and may involve the acquisition of children through monetary arrangements, deceit and/or force. The children may then be held in sham orphanages while formal international adoption processes are used to send the children to adoptive parents in another country.
Child laundering rings are often expansive with multiple hierarchies of people motivated by large profits from the black markets of intercountry adoptions. With Westerners willing to spend thousands of dollars to adopt a child, enough monetary incentives are created to extend the laundering ring from the middle classes to societies' more affluent groups. These "baby broker" families subsequently forge a new identity for the laundered child, "validating" the child's legal status as an orphan and ensuring the scheme will not be uncovered.[1]
Child laundering is highly controversial; while many argue that these children are being treated as a commodity and stripped of family contact, others argue that, ultimately, the children will live in a more affluent environment and have more opportunities as a result of this adoption.[2]

*This is available for all the potential adoptive parents (PAPs) to read. If they did do some research, we'd make some progress in ending international unregulated child trafficking.
It's about money, providing a "Product" who is a child.  Remember that.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Bad History: Termination, Mixed Bloods #flipthescript #NAAM2014



By Trace (adoptee-author-blogger)

To protect Indian children from state adoption agencies and government-run massacres and abductions, Indian people created the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA). It was signed by President Jimmy Carter into law in 1978.  Since the passage of ICWA, Indian children (from federally recognized tribes) are protected and kept in their tribal community. (Let's say usually, not always.)

Then we have the Multi-Ethnic Placement Act of 1994, (amended by the Interethnic Adoption Provisions of 1996) who decided: “If it turns out that a child is of mixed ancestry, including some Indian heritage, but is not an “Indian child” under ICWA, then the child’s placement is not subject to ICWA and the child is entitled to the MEPA-IEP protections against discriminatory placement decisions. If a caseworker has reason to know that a child may have some Indian heritage, it is essential to determine whether the child is a member of a federally recognized Indian tribe, or may be eligible for membership by virtue of being the biological child of a member. Delays in determining a child’s status as an “Indian child” can have the unfortunate consequence, years later, of disrupting stable placements with non-Indian foster or adoptive parents to rectify an earlier failure to abide by ICWA."

Well, it looks to me like the government is up to no good there and measuring our blood and status. Prior to ICWA, no Indian children were protected.  We're called "The Stolen Generation" or the 60s Scoop for a reason. If the government could not kill all the Indians, they'd do it another way - they'd assimilate us into mainstream society and make us "white" via residential boarding schools, orphanages and adoptions with non-Indians.

Another method? Many tribes were terminated. In the 1950s, the U.S. government ended its federal trusteeship of roughly three percent of the Native population through a process called termination. Of the 109 tribes and bands terminated, 62 were in Oregon and 41 were in California. Others were in Minnesota, Nebraska, Utah, and Wisconsin. (Many adoptions took place in those states.) Termination caused chaos and cultural, political and economic devastation for those tribes. Some did reestablish the trust relationship. For many, it took years.

Every Lost Bird I know wants to find their families, even if they’re not federally recognized. Children of mixed blood like me could fall into these government loopholes. Caseworkers might determine Indian status based on blood quantum and tribal recognition or how you look (!) Really. It’s really a mess because 250 tribes are on a list of non-recognized tribes, with 150 petitioning for federal recognition.   

State-recognized tribes like the Abenaki in Vermont, who receive no federal benefits, are currently petitioning the federal government. The idea that a tribe doesn’t exist is troubling. If there are tribal members, there is a tribe. Not long ago, Vermont decided to apologize for sterilizing Abenaki Indian women and children, a deliberate attempt to make sure there would be no more Vermont Indians. Vermont’s apology took the form of teaching Abenaki tribal history in all its schools. For many years, the Abenaki were so afraid of the government militia Roger’s Rangers, they did not teach their children language or ceremony.

Some history I wish wasn’t true.  

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Veronica, we adult adoptees are thinking of you today and every day. We will be here when you need us. Your journey in the adopted life has begun, nothing can revoke that now, the damage cannot be undone. Be courageous, you have what no adoptee before you has had; a strong group of adult adoptees who know your story, who are behind you and will always be so.

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As the single largest unregulated industry in the United States, adoption is viewed as a benevolent action that results in the formation of “forever families.”
The truth is that it is a very lucrative business with a known sales pitch. With profits last estimated at over $1.44 billion dollars a year, mothers who consider adoption for their babies need to be very aware that all of this promotion clouds the facts and only though independent research can they get an accurate account of what life might be like for both them and their child after signing the adoption paperwork.


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