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EMAIL ME: tracelara@pm.me (outlook email is gone)
THANK YOU CHI MEGWETCH!
It's Trace, your editor. I started this blog/website in 2010 to help adoptees like me navigate the waters and terrors of closed adoption, reunions and the genocidal Indian Adoption Projects. There were so many stories of adoptees like me, I decided I'd share them here. (Because of this blog, there is an anthology book series called Lost Children of the Indian Adoption Projects, five books - your voices, your stories.)
I had never made a blog before. It was all new to me. (Yes, I worked as a journalist since 1996, but this was different.)
It made me happy to find out: Together, WE are a voice, a history, a force. We are not going anywhere! We will speak our minds, help each other and share our stories!
Last night, this website hit 8 MILLION VIEWS! I thank each of you for being here and educating yourself and reading this information! WOW!
Now the bad news: Google who owns blogger is going to change soon. They are obviously policing blogs, as I had warned you. (My blog Puck and Otis disappeared then reappeared then was gone again then came back.)
right click to enlarge
On December 16, Blogger will change again. I just read their 6-page policy statement. We are not violating any of their policies. I am simply sharing information and giving you the news, the source, the newspaper, or whoever wrote it. Or I wrote it...
I know they keep an eye on us. But is it artificial intelligence monitoring us? WHY?
I wrote before this blog might disappear and that means I'd have to relocate it to wordpress or some other platform, if necessary. I'll keep you informed and will work on that transition immediately. I have backed up this content: over 3,000 posts!
If there are stories you want to save, or read again, print them out, please. Use the search bar to find topics you need to reread and save. I know some of you are students, so please use the important resources up top on this blog.
😢SADLY this site may simply go poof.
I don't run ads or make money from this blog-website. Other than book sales, which I really appreciate, books are the only income stream. And it seems that people are not reading books. THEY READ BLOGS like this one!
So BIG THANKS to you! Thank you for coming here. I thank you for all your comments and emails. I thank you for reading my rants and learning about this history. CHI MEGWETCH!
IMPORTANT: How to reach me:
Trace Hentz
email: tracelara@pm.me
phone: 413-772-6996
If you need my address, email me or call.
My door is open! Let me know what you need or if I can help! LOVE TO YOU ALL XOX
The primary outcome of Columbus’s voyage to the new world
was the enslavement of hundreds of thousands of Native Americans and the
pilfering of 45,000 tons of gold and silver (valued at £10 trillion in modern
currency).—The History of the World Part 5—Age of Plunder, BBC (2018) Film Review by
Dr. Stuart Bramhall
Looting, too?Well that’s not good.In 1492 Columbus, the real-life-slave trader-pirate,
was capturing humans for Spain, and lands three boats in Hispaniola.(Carib People say Columbus, an Italian guy
working for Spain, was lost at sea.) - Trace Hentz, from her book ALMOST DEAD INDIANS: Atrocity
Then there's this👇
Correction: At 00:32 we incorrectly say that Columbus never set foot on North American soil. Columbus landed in Central America and the Caribbean which are both regions in North America. We meant to say that Columbus never reached the United States. We regret the error.
For months, the O’odham had maneuvered to avoid such a scene, taking their case to federal court. Their homeland straddles the border, and thousands of tribal members live in Mexico. A wall would disrupt routine border crossings for ceremonies and family visits and destroy landscapes they consider their duty to protect, members and leaders say. Their lawsuit argued that the Trump administration’s efforts to build it despite their opposition constituted an historic attack on tribal sovereignty.
The O’odham suspected the government would not be as mindful as it claimed.
Two days after the meeting with Mullin, the DHS secretary, a border wall contractor had “inadvertently disturbed a cultural site” west of the reservation. The crew had bulldozed a 70-foot swath through the Las Playas Intaglio, a 200-foot long earthen etching in the shape of a fish that was at least 6,500 years old. The site was well marked and well known to area archaeologists.
Wynona P. Larson Yazzie, an O’odham tribal elder, Marine Corps veteran and former tribal police officer, had organized prayer runs that included stops at the intaglio. She’d visited the site the day before its destruction. Since then, she’d closely followed the Nation’s lawsuit.
On Aug. 6, Larson Yazzie saw a disturbing filing from the tribe’s attorneys. They’d received word that in four days government contractors would enter the reservation to conduct tests. DHS, the tribe argued, was “exploiting” the judge’s reflection period to “move forward with highly disputed actions.”
Tribal leaders erected dozens of 8-foot-wide “no trespassing” signs along the three main access roads leading through the reservation to the border.
Ancient geoglyph damaged by border wall contractors, archaeologists say
The Center for Biological Diversity documented a 50-foot-wide scraped corridor cutting through part of the 272-foot-long fish-shaped figure after U.S. Customs and Border Protection contractor drove heavy equipment through the area on April 23.
The earthwork was previously thought to be only about 1,000 years old, but according to the article, titled "Las Playas Intaglio Damaged by Border Wall Construction is Older Than 6,500 Years," it is now identified as the oldest scientifically dated geoglyph in the Americas.
This discovery places its creation 2,000 years before Egypt's first pyramid and 1,500 years before the first construction of Stonehenge.
"This discovery makes an already devastating loss even more profound. It’s a cultural and historical atrocity,” said Russ McSpadden, Southwest conservation advocate at the nonprofit Center for Biological Diversity.
Indigenous Peoples Day has been recognized for decades in different forms and under a variety of names to celebrate Native Americans’ history and culture and to acknowledge the challenges they continue to face.
In 2021, President Joe Biden issued the first-ever presidential proclamation of Indigenous Peoples Day. He said in a statement that the day is meant to “honor America’s first inhabitants and the Tribal Nations that continue to thrive today.” He last marked Indigenous Peoples Day in 2024.
President Donald Trump made clear in 2025 that he would not follow his predecessor’s practice of recognizing Indigenous Peoples Day alongside Columbus Day in October. He accused Democrats of denigrating the explorer’s legacy as he pressed his campaign to restore what he argues are traditional American icons.
Last year, Trump issued a proclamation for Columbus Day but not Indigenous Peoples Day. In his first term, Trump recognized National Native American Heritage Month, which takes place in November.
Native American people across the country will honor their centuries-long history of resilience with ceremonies, dances, rallies and more for Indigenous Peoples Day. We have partnered with the Indigenous-led news organization ICT to share many of these events with you here.
___
BUT FIRST, SOME FACTS: IS INDIGENOUS PEOPLES DAY A FEDERAL HOLIDAY?
Indigenous Peoples Day is typically observed on the second Monday in October, the same day as Columbus Day, a federal holiday established decades ago to recognize Columbus’ sighting in 1492 of what came to be known as the Americas.
Although Indigenous Peoples Day is not a federal holiday, 17 states — including Washington, South Dakota and Maine — as well as Washington, D.C., have holidays honoring Native Americans, according to the Pew Research Center. Many of these state holidays are paired with Columbus Day or replace it altogether. Dozens of cities and school systems also observe Indigenous Peoples Day.
___
FIND YOUR COMMUNITY: EVENTS NEAR YOU
ICT, formerly Indian Country Today, is keeping a running list of Indigenous Peoples Day events happening from coast to coast. See some highlights here, and go to ICT’s website for a more comprehensive list across the states.
Noojimo’waning, Detroit’s first Land Back project, returns five city lots to Anishinaabe stewardship for ecological restoration and cultural healing. The site honors the area’s role as a sacred stopping place in Indigenous prophecy.
The tipi at Noojimo’waning, the Land Back project in Poletown East's Arboretum Detroit. Photo by Hadassah GreenSky.
Overview:
Noojimo'waning (The Place of Healing) is Detroit's first Land Back project, returning five lots in Poletown East to Anishinaabe stewardship for native meadow restoration and cultural programming.
Detroit is the Third Sacred Stopping Spot of the Anishinaabek Nation.
Land steward Hadassah GreenSky Meshekey founded The Flicker Exchange collective and partnered with Arboretum Detroit to restore ecological balance through Indigenous land-based learning.
My people, the Anishinaabek, were led to the area, known as Detroit/Windsor, by a prophecy. They were told they’d return to their homelands when they found the food that grows on the water.
The river then was perhaps only 4-8 feet deep and 10 feet across. Instead of corrugated steel, rocky edges and a fast-moving river, the water would trickle through the feathered edges of the Curved Shores.
Here we found the aquatic grass seed that would later become our state’s grain and the staple of Anishinaabek diet: manoomin, or wild rice, the food that grows on the water.
Detroit sits on Anishinaabek land, but most importantly, on a place of prophecy. We call it the Third Sacred Stopping Spot of the Anishinaabek Nation. It was here that the Three Fires Confederacy was determined. Our people needed to maintain the cultural integrity and lifeways of our Nation, so we created three roles. They are Ojibwe, Keepers of the Knowledge; Odawa, Keepers of the Trade Routes; and Bodewademi, Keepers of the Fire.
When the French arrived at the Curved Shores, they called the area “at the straits,” or “dé troit.” From their arrival onward, genocide of my people quickly became commonplace. Treaties were constantly broken through both French and later British occupation.
I am a living descendant of those who walked before me, surviving genocide, land theft, Indian residential boarding schools, language, and culture loss.
Hadassah GreenSky Meshekey in the tipi at Noojimo’waning. Photo by David Lauer.
My existence was not supposed to happen. We were supposed to be a conquered nation. We were supposed to be exterminated. Records of the true foundations of America were to be recycled into stories of patriotism and Manifest Destiny. Yet here I am, living in a city they called Detroit, walking where my ancestors once walked.
In our language there is a concept called Akinomaagewin, which means “learning from the land you are on.” It involves deep listening to signs around you through observation of cycles over time. This concept is how I have led for the last year-and-a-half as a land steward for Detroit’s first Land Back project, Noojimo’waning.
Land Back is return of land taken through genocide, land theft, and manipulative tax laws to Indigenous stewardship, to build a world rooted in values of interspecies responsibility and balance. For Detroit, this means “Anishinaabe lands back into Anishinaabe hands.”
Nestled in Poletown’s Arboretum Detroit, Noojimo’waning, Anishinaabemowin for “The Place of Healing,” was established as an expansion of the Arboretum’s mission of ecological restoration.
The land, made up of five city lots, sits alongside the historic upper banks of the Bloody Run. It serves as the land base for The Flicker Exchange, a collective I founded to support the flow of goods and culture along the modern day trade routes where colonization has intentionally kept Indigenous people separated.
It began in 2024, when I was approached by Arboretum Detroit to begin discussions on tangible Land Back in Detroit. By 2025, we had partnered, held community work days to clear the land of debris, and began to listen to the desires of the land herself.
Today, the land has a native meadow restoration project with walking paths around a circle of trees; giant sequoias in a 66-foot diameter circle, and white cedars in a 33-foot diameter circle. The land also contains a circular garden where we’ve grown corn, beans, tobacco, and ground cherries.
We also raised funds for a 22-foot tipi and held many community gatherings, workshops, and work days. We have future plans to include ceremonial space for Native community, eco-art installations, an herbal clinic, and continued programming.
Land Back isn’t just to benefit Indigenous people. It’s for everyone. The return of land and waterways to Indigenous people isn’t about property (though property law plays a role). It’s about returning land to itself.
Indigenous people are extensions of the natural world, just like all humans are. My people have been in relationship with the plants, animals, and landscape around the area known as Detroit for thousands of years.
Our people maintained these interdependent relationships because we knew there is no distinction between human and natural life. Recent disasters caused by human-driven climate change, threats to clean drinking water, and the imbalances caused by logging and negligent forestry tell us that our survival still depends on these relationships.
Land Back is the integration of non-indigenous people, cultures and introduced species: processes of re-matriation, peacemaking and compromise between nations. Land-based learning is encoded into all ancestral lifeways, stories and language.
This sits in contrast to brick-and-mortar institutional Native spaces, which cannot host the aspects of our culture that need land access to be practiced. We see ancestral awareness and responsibility as an interface to land-based learning, and offer the Anishinaabe viewpoint as an invitation to allyship.
“We cannot change the political system, we cannot change the economic system, we cannot change the social system, until the people control the land, and then we take it out of the hands of that sick minority that chooses to pervert the meaning and the intention of humanity.”
In the kitchen, when something has to go, we 86 it. We cut it from the menu and it’s gone.
On Monday, October 26, we are calling on as many restaurants as we can to join us to organize dinners across the nation to help unite and protect our food industry workers ahead of the midterm vote. Let’s 86 fascism together.
I’ve created CAFE.vote as a website space to unite, organize, and amplify our voices together. It is now live and working, so please visit and sign up if you are a restaurant owner, chef, food service worker, or ally. That includes anybody who wants to help amplify the need to vote wisely and against those that support authoritarian actions we’ve seen committed in our country this year against farm workers, food processors, restaurant workers, grocery workers, institutional food industry workers and basically everybody who has been targeted by ICE because of the color of their skin.
October 26 is coming fast, we know. We're asking every person who grows, picks, packs, processes, hauls, cooks, serves, or sells food in this country to help set a table on the same night, eight days before the midterms. One night, kitchens across the nation with the same message: 86 Fascism, Unite the Industry, Get Out the Vote!
Here’s why.
Downtown Minneapolis, MN January 2026
Last winter I wrote here about what was happening in Minneapolis, MN. Operation Metro Surge sent thousands of federal agents into Minneapolis and St. Paul. They called it immigration enforcement. We lived it as a violent occupation, our city under siege and our community threatened with violence, imprisonment and death.
Restaurants felt it first. Cooks stopped coming to shifts because they were afraid to leave the house. Dishwashers who had worked the same line for ten years disappeared from the schedule. Regulars stopped coming in. The mercados on Lake Street went quiet. Somali cafes that are usually full at midnight sat empty. Owners turned their back doors into safe pickup points. Our group chats went from talking about specials to talking about where agents had been seen that morning and who was in need of food relief or safe transportation.
Then the killing started. On January 7, an ICE agent shot and killed Renée Good, a U.S. citizen and a mother, in South Minneapolis. On January 24, federal agents shot and killed Alex Pretti, an ICU nurse, during a protest. Two of our neighbors were killed by our own government on our own streets in the same month.
I keep coming back to how fast it happened. A whole industry ground to a halt in a matter of weeks because fear was used on purpose, by people who wanted us afraid and obedient.
I wrote back then that weaponizing hunger is an authoritarian tactic, but it can be defeated by feeding people and standing with them. I still believe that. But feeding people isn’t enough on its own. We also have to vote while we still can.
Sen. Tina Smith and Sean Sherman, January 29, 2026
In January right after Alex Pretti’s murder I put out a call for action on my Substack. I asked the food industry to help sign a letter to Congress, asking our leaders not to hand more money to the Department of Homeland Security while it was terrorizing our neighbors and citizens were being murdered and brutalized with no accountability.
2,800 of you signed. Line cooks. Farmers. Servers. Owners. Food writers. On January 29, I carried those signatures to Senator Tina Smith in Washington, D.C., that same day, the Senate blocked the DHS funding.
It was a real win at that moment. It mattered but it didn’t last. On March 5, Congress passed H.R. 7744 and fully funded DHS anyway.
If we want the people in power to stop treating our workers as disposable, we have to change who holds that power. Our next shot is this November 3, the midterm vote.
Let me be clear about what C.A.F.E. is. Chefs Against Fascism Everywhere is not a party. It’s not a campaign arm for anybody. It’s nonpartisan in the truest sense of the word.
We don’t care what letter sits next to your name or what color your campaign poster is. We care whether you stand with working people or against them. C.A.F.E. stands against fascism. Against authoritarianism. Against racism. Against a billionaire class that buys elections, writes the rules, and then tells the rest of us to be grateful for scraps.
If you’re a Republican who believes in the Constitution, in due process, and in treating every person like a human being and has the backbone to stand up for what is right and break party loyalty, then you have a seat at our table. If you’re a Democrat who folds every time it gets hard, we’ll call you out too. That’s the line. It isn’t left or right. It’s humanity or cruelty.
Our tagline says it plain. Feed the resistance. Save democracy.
Nopales Farmers in CDMX, January 2026
Look at who actually puts food on America’s table. Farm workers picking lettuce at dawn. Crews on the line in meatpacking and poultry plants. People in canneries, bakeries, and processing facilities. Truck drivers and warehouse crews. Line cooks, dishwashers, servers, and bussers. Caterers and food truck owners. The folks running school cafeterias, hospital kitchens, and senior meal programs. Grocery workers. Farmers market vendors. Seed savers.
This industry runs on immigrants, people of color, with many LGBTQ community among us. Some may be undocumented, but they are still humans trying to make a better life for themselves and their families and should be treated as such and given paths towards citizenship. Many immigrants are the most essential workers we have and the least protected. When they raid an immigrant community, they raid our kitchens. When they deport workers, they empty fields and shutter restaurants. Every attack on our immigrant communities is an attack on our whole industry. There is no version of the American food system that works without them and the actions that ICE was taking were going to collapse not only our industry, but our entire economy.
I’m an enrolled member of the Oglala Lakota. As Lakota, there isn’t much patience for descendants of immigrants calling other immigrants illegal while on stolen land. Our food systems rely on diversity and we must learn to celebrate diversities rather than attempting to homogenize or ethnically cleanse out of xenophobia.
Rob Kinneen, Pyet DeSpain, Valerie Segrest, Luke and Linda Black Elk, Sean Sherman, Holly Holt
Here’s the ask. On Monday, October 26, sign up on CAFE.vote and host a C.A.F.E. dinner. Hundreds of tables, same night, all across the country.
We picked a Monday on purpose. A lot of restaurants are closed Mondays. Open that empty dining room. And this isn’t only for restaurants. Host it at a farm stand, a food truck, a coffee shop, a brewery, a union hall, a church basement, a school cafeteria, a community kitchen, or your own backyard. If you feed people, you can host. Then share your food, your inclusiveness and your voices loudly across social media.
Invite your community. Bring in local organizers and immigrant rights groups. Bring in the get-out-the-vote groups already doing the work in your town. Invite local leaders, influencers, and anyone with a microphone who will use it for good. Let the people who have been carrying this fight speak.
Then get to work. Here’s what can happen at your table:
Make a plan to vote early. Early voting is open in most states by then. Check registration at the table. Look up polling places. Pick a day to go together that week.
Bring three. Every guest commits to bringing three more people to vote.
Share stories without names. Workers write what this year has been like on a card and drop it in a jar. The host reads a few out loud. People get heard without being exposed.
Protect workers. Set up a Know Your Rights table with a local immigrant rights group. Run a supply drive for families hit by raids. Give a percentage of the night’s sales to an immigrant legal defense fund.
Build for Election Day. Recruit poll workers. Write postcards to infrequent voters over dessert. Put the C.A.F.E. poster in your window and leave it up through November 3. Then tag three more places and ask them to host.
A few house rules keep everyone safe. Dinner is open to everyone, period. Food is never tied to registering or voting. Nobody gets asked about immigration status. Take photos of the table, not people’s faces, unless they say yes. Candidates are welcome as guests, but no fundraising, and if you invite one candidate in a race, feel free to invite their opponents too. And 86 only ever goes next to the words fascism, racism, and billionaires.
Supporters are counted only in total by state and by job. Never named. Your presence still counts. You can cook, drive, organize, and tell your story. This movement needs you, the country needs you if you care about humanity.
CAFE the Video Game (Coming Soon?) ;)
The dinner is the kickoff. Election Day is the rush. And nobody handles a rush like a kitchen.
Open your space as a staging point for people to go vote together. Coordinate rides to the polls for folks who need them. Pledge paid time off for your staff to vote, and post that pledge in your window. That’s legal everywhere. It’s not buying votes. It’s respecting your people.
Adopt a polling place and send food to the poll workers. They work long days for little pay so the rest of us can have a democracy. Feed the workers, never the voters standing in line. Some states have strict rules about that, so keep it clean.
If you haven’t checked your own registration, do it today. Several state deadlines land this month. CAFE.vote links you straight to HeadCount, a nonpartisan resource, to register, check your status, and find your polling place.
Fear shut my city down once. What brought it back wasn’t a press release or a politician. It was people showing up for each other. Cooks covering shifts for coworkers who couldn’t leave home. Owners driving staff to and from work. Neighbors delivering groceries to families afraid to open the door. That’s what this industry does best. We take care of people every single day because we care.
Now we need to do it at scale. Imagine every farm, every packing plant, every kitchen, every food truck, and every cafeteria in this country standing together on the same night. That’s not a protest, it’s a movement. And it’s a voting bloc that nobody in power can afford to ignore.
The people pushing authoritarianism are counting on us to be tired, confused and scared. They’re counting on us to stay in our kitchens and keep our heads down. Let’s show them what an industry looks like when it stands up.
Go to CAFE.vote. Sign up your space. Sign up as a supporter. Host a dinner on October 26. Bring three, bring your community, celebrate humanity together. Then vote, and help everyone around you do the same. Let’s vote this nation back toward humanity and sanity.
Feed the resistance. Save democracy.
86 fascism.
C.A.F.E. was created by The Sioux Chef and this post reflects my personal views, not NATIFS.org.
Each year on Sept. 30th, known as Orange Shirt Day, Tribal Nations across North America pay tribute to the Native children who were forcibly removed from their families and placed in boarding and residential schools.
I just had a birthday. I wasn't expecting a call from Alabama where my brother Ronnie lives. On my 9-9 birthday, his wife told me that Ronnie had died in his sleep on Sept. 6, how he'd been real sick. His funeral was happening the next day (Sept. 10, 2026.)
I was not going to make it all the way down to Alabama to be there, obviously.
Ronnie and I have the same dad, Earl Bland. Earl was 18 when Ronnie was born and his new baby boy was adopted by a maternal aunt. Growing up, Ronnie was miserable, his daughter told me. Even raised in your own family, being adopted by a relative can have its own drawbacks, as many of you have told me.
Ten years later, Earl was 28 when I was born. Earl knew I existed, too, and I explained in my memoir what he told me, how he would have raised me.
The sad truth is my brother Ronnie and I never met. We talked on the phone. His daughter found me after my memoir ONE SMALL SACRIFICE was published. When I met Earl when I was 38, he told me I had a brother, but little else. Ronnie was born in New Orleans, Louisiana. Earl didn't tell me his name or didn't know. Earl thought he was a lawyer in New Orleans but wasn't sure. He was wrong. A Navy man, Ronnie had a long military career.
Who ever does genealogy needs to be aware that this happens to adoptees. In my case, TWICE!
I need to take a break from blogging here. I may have to tear apart my kitchen again or do some mosaic tiling and hard labor to process this. I know how to grieve, yes, cry, yes, but this pain is more anger.
Check your local listings in the US for NOVA- airs WEDNESDAY, Sept, 23, 2026
Nova: Knowledge Keepers Watch Wednesday, Sept. 23 at 9 p.m. on NEPM TV
For millennia, Indigenous communities in North America have practiced a unique form of science. From navigating the featureless Arctic to building energy-efficient homes in the desert, see how cultural traditions have led to remarkable innovations.
If you’re looking for something to watch or cook this weekend, there are two good Indigenous food options.
Vision Maker Media is streaming Spirit Platefree throughout September. The series follows award-winning chef Pyet DeSpain (Prairie Band Potawatomi Nation) as she visits Indigenous communities to gather, fish, hunt, and cook with local foods. The 15-minute episodes include spearing Pacific lamprey with the Yurok Tribe, a bison stew for the Potawatomi Gathering, a feast with Onondaga seed keepers and matriarchs, halibut cooked for Haida elders in a longhouse, a Hawaiian underground-oven pig roast, and Tlingit beach asparagus and salmon.
And if you’re ready to cook, Crystal Wahpepah (Kickapoo Nation) published A Feather and a Fork this year, with 125 intertribal recipes including sweet blue cornbread, strawberry-sumac salad, bison roast with chokeberry rub, and acorn muffins. Tommy Orange wrote the foreword.
Your History Class Was a F*cking Lie by Sean Sherman (Or: How the American Educational System Has Always Been a Racist Propaganda Program...
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To Veronica Brown
Veronica, we adult adoptees are thinking of you today and every day. We will be here when you need us. Your journey in the adopted life has begun, nothing can revoke that now, the damage cannot be undone. Be courageous, you have what no adoptee before you has had; a strong group of adult adoptees who know your story, who are behind you and will always be so.
Diane Tells His Name
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Lost Birds on Al Jazeera Fault Lines
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NO MORE STOLEN SISTERS
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We conclude this series & continue the conversation by naming that adoption is genocide. This naming refers to the process of genocide that breaks kinship ties through adoption & other forms of family separation & policing 🧵#NAAM2022#AdoptionIsTraumaAND#AdopteeTwitter#FFY 1/6 pic.twitter.com/46v0mWISZ1
As the single largest unregulated industry in the United States, adoption is viewed as a benevolent action that results in the formation of “forever families.” The truth is that it is a very lucrative business with a known sales pitch. With profits last estimated at over $1.44 billion dollars a year, mothers who consider adoption for their babies need to be very aware that all of this promotion clouds the facts and only though independent research can they get an accurate account of what life might be like for both them and their child after signing the adoption paperwork.