PENN STATE: SILENCE IS NOT AN ANSWER

My years as a College Student 1974-1978

By Trace Hentz (blog editor)

Why it took me years to write my memoir - why I didn’t want to write about me at all - is because I was sexually abused by my adoptive father. I broke my silence at age 22 when I went to my first therapist for counseling (right after college). I wasn't telling everyone what had happened - I kept silent. Writing about my childhood took me nearly 5 years. I published my memoir in early 2010. At age 53, shame could still do that - it tried to silence me.


Did I want to remember those years?  No.  Remembering what he did to me paralyzed me: to go back in time to think about those years seemed like a bad idea, like I’d be reliving it.  I had therapy twice and it had helped. Writing helped more. The more you tell what happened, the old terror loosens its grip on you.  I had therapy to release it and writing about it was hard but not horrible. Our minds do bury what is hard to comprehend. When we feel safe, as adults, after time has passed, we can go back and look at what happened.  Talking about it and writing about it releases the shame.


Did I want the world to know? No. I checked with a few of my female cousins to make sure that my dad made me his only victim. Of course this was years after it happened. After my memoir, my cousins then knew what happened to me and yes, they did back me up and support me emotionally. They knew my dad was a bad alcoholic. Now they knew the truth and everything else.


Did I have to write what happened? Absolutely. WARNING: This kind of thing can define the rest of your life. If you don’t face it head-on, it can control you and destroy you and your confidence.


For years and years I didn’t want anyone to know - because of my shame. I never confronted my dad as a teenager. To me, my father was sick. He was the monster who I had to live with. I endured more than five years of inappropriate touching and non-stop talk about sex - what he wanted to do to me in graphic detail.


Why didn’t I go to police or to a trusted teacher or a relative? First I was afraid no one would believe me. Second, I was afraid I’d be blamed - my mother had called me a whore. I was 12 when my dad first molested me - I was not a whore. Our family was sick and damaging in many ways.


I want each and every sexual abuse victim, at PENN STATE or anywhere else to know: your silence keeps you the victim. Silence is not an answer. To heal this, you have to speak your truth.
First, find a really good therapist; then hire a really good lawyer.

Now I am a survivor of sexual abuse, not a victim.

PENN STATE SCANDAL - Sandusky also an adopter

WTF? Does it really go that high up the food chain?

BLOG.AMYADOPTEE.COM published "WTF? Does it really go that high up the food chain?" on 11/15/2011 written by Amy Adoptee.


I have been paying attention to the "child molestation charges against Sandusky" news. I want to try and steer the negative implications away from the university, Penn State. The entire school isn't bad. Their athletic department leaves much to be desired. My concerns, however, have always been with The Second Mile charity established by Jerry Sandusky. They are a foster care type of agency that allowed a pedophile run amok with the children charged in their care. Sandusky and his wife even adopted a child from that agency. I find it hard to believe that no red flags came up at all. Ironically even the Westboro Baptist Church got it right this time.

Let's look at the characters involved in this melodrama. Sandusky is of course the disgusting perp in this mess. Paterno is the coach. McQueary is the grad student who saw Sandusky getting his kicks with a young boy. Tim Curley and Gary Schultz supposedly covered it up. Graham Spanier was President of the university at the time all of this happened. Jim Calhoun was another witness that has "dementia." Wendell Courtney worked as counsel for both the university and The Second Mile charity (DING DING DING).

Ironically the charity is now being represented by the former Philadelphia district attorney, Lynne Abraham to represent them because Wendell Courtney (see above DING DING DING) resigned last week.

Ray Gricar (DING DING DING) went missing and was recently declared dead this past July. However, his disappearance raises questions on a major level as another blogger suggested. Believe me, it entered my brain too. He did not prosecute this case when it could have been stopped but he also did not prosecute a football player, Scott Paxson,for rape either. It could have been for a lack of evidence but also his brother also committed suicide too.

Finally someone at the state level is looking into The Second Mile Charity. The heat brought about the resignation of Jack Raykovitz. The governor of Pennsylvania is a calling for an investigation into the agency. Finally! They need to be investigated fully and totally. Every one of their donors need to be investigated and fully vetted. This agency allowed a pedophile around children who needed protection not more abuse. He is rumored to have even pimped those children to some of the rich donors. Bad thing is that this agency probably had connections in Texas as well as New York.

Interestingly, another article points out a certain judge and her ties to The Second Mile organization. She let Sandusky post a $100,000 unsecured bail when the state was asking for $500,000 at least. He does not have to wear any kind of leg monitor or be monitored at all. She donated to The Second Mile Program and even participated in its events. Geez, I think that is a conflict of interest there, sweetie! According to news articles, she is now being investigated by the Pennsylvania Supreme Court to see if her capabilities as a judge and her involvement with the Second Mile might force her to recuse herself from the bench.

As far as NBC's interview with Sandusky, he admits to showering with these boys. Excuse me, that is even dangerously close to sexual abuse. I would be uncomfortable if my teacher or someone that I respected did that with me. He even sounds pervy in the interview with that soft voice. EWWWWWWW!

Permalink: blog.amyadoptee.com/2011/11/15/wtf-does-it-really-go-that-high-up-the-food-chain.aspx

[A 10-year-old child does not initiate sexual contact with an adult - Sandusky is a pedophile, despite what he said this morning on NBC ...Trace]