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Sunday, November 16, 2014

Living with Guilt, Ceremony for Adoptees #flipthscript #adoption

By Trace (Lost Bird Adoptee)

I am not a medical professional, or a doctor, or lawyer…and I am not offering a magic pill or legal advice or any medicine…  I just know what I did.

Adoptees do heal - even without all the answers they desperately want. It is possible. Tell your guilt you are not looking for parents - just looking for answers, for truth.

I’ve heard this from other adoptees: Help as many adoptees as you can with their guilt. (Yes, guilt)

Adoptees can release damaging emotions in a safe way, in a ceremony, in a church, or in a prayer. It could possibly take years, not a few sessions of talk-therapy. For Split Feathers, get to a ceremony.

I tell my adoptee friends, “You may never find all the answers but you can wake up. You can tell your side of the story. You need ceremony. Get support. Laws need to be changed. History will never change the facts you were let go or taken away from your parents. The government did what it did....”

In my situation, I had a reunion with my dad almost 20 years ago. I never met my mother. I have been to ceremonies.
My advice to those going into reunion is: “A reunion doesn’t guarantee you’ll hear what you expect or feel all better. Many adoptive parents and natural parents can’t handle it. They have no idea the pain adoption caused you and they do not want to take responsibility for it.  Once you meet your birth family, mother, father, siblings, you decide what to keep and what to leave behind.  You have the opportunity to make your own decisions for the first time in your life. You create a safe zone and safe home for yourself. You become your own parent. You decide who to let in and who to let go. In other words, you heal.”
I'll also share this advice given to me: “Living in a state of consciousness of love keeps you balanced, no matter what life throws at you. The ego’s consciousness is cloudy (foggy) and keeps you out of your heart. The ego also keeps you in a state of procrastination. Being in the center of your chest brings energy to your being in the now, thus stopping procrastination.”

Love yourself.  Drop the Guilt. Find the Truth.

(Adoptees who are interested in attending ceremony in 2017, email me:

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Takeaway Podcast ICWA

What our Nations are up against!

What our Nations are up against!
Survivors, write your stories. Write your parents stories. Write the elders stories. Do not be swayed by the colonizers to keep quiet. Tribal Nations have their own way of keeping stories alive.... Trace

Help in available!

Help in available!
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Diane Tells His Name

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Indian Country is under attack. Native tribes and people are fighting hard for justice. There is need for legal assistance across Indian Country, and NARF is doing as much as we can. With your help, we have fought for 48 years and we continue to fight.

It is hard to understand the extent of the attacks on Indian Country. We are sending a short series of emails this month with a few examples of attacks that are happening across Indian Country and how we are standing firm for justice.

Today, we look at recent effort to undo laws put in place to protect Native American children and families. All children deserve to be raised by loving families and communities. In the 1970s, Congress realized that state agencies and courts were disproportionately removing American Indian and Alaska Native children from their families. Often these devastating removals were due to an inability or unwillingness to understand Native cultures, where family is defined broadly and raising children is a shared responsibility. To stop these destructive practices, Congress passed the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA).

After forty years, ICWA has proven to be largely successful and many states have passed their own ICWAs. This success, however, is now being challenged by large, well-financed opponents who are actively and aggressively seeking to undermine ICWA’s protections for Native children. We are seeing lawsuits across the United States that challenge ICWA’s protections. NARF is working with partners to defend the rights of Native children and families.

Indian Country is under attack. We need you. Please join the ranks of Modern Day Warriors. Please donate today to help Native people protect their rights.

where were you adopted?

where were you adopted?

To Veronica Brown

Veronica, we adult adoptees are thinking of you today and every day. We will be here when you need us. Your journey in the adopted life has begun, nothing can revoke that now, the damage cannot be undone. Be courageous, you have what no adoptee before you has had; a strong group of adult adoptees who know your story, who are behind you and will always be so.