- How to Open Closed Adoption Records for Native American Children (updated 2021)
- LOST CHILDREN BOOK SERIES
- NEW! Help for First Nations Adoptees (Canada)
- Split Feathers Study
- The reunification of First Nations adoptees (2016)
- You're Breaking Up: Adoptive Couple v. Baby Girl #ICWA
- Indian Child Welfare Act organizations
- About the Indian Adoption Projects
- How to Search (adoptees)
- THE PLACEMENT OF AMERICAN INDIAN CHILDREN - THE NEED FOR CHANGE (1974)
- NEW: Study by Jeannine Carriere (First Nations) (2007)
- NEW STUDY: Post Adoption (Australia)
- Dr. Raven Sinclair
- Laura Briggs: Feminists and the Baby Veronica Case...
- Bibliography (updated)
- Adopt an Elder: Ellowyn Locke (Oglala Lakota)
- TWO NATIONS: Navajo (Boarding School)
- Survivor Not Victim (my interview with Von)
- Adoption History
- Native American News Outlets
- First Nations Repatriation Institute
- OBC ACCESS 2023
- FREE REGISTRY (sign up at ISRR)
- Genealogy\Indian Affairs 2021
- WHAT is the 60s Scoop
- Search Angels (free)
- What is ICWA (2023)
- SEARCH ANGELS (UPDATE 2023)
- About Trace
How to Use this Blog
NEED HELP WITH AN ADOPTEE SEARCH? Have questions? Use comment form at the bottom of this website.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Mary Weilding: It describes me. It also stands for Independent Confidential Adoption Research Efforts.
When it was founded?
What was the main objective?
MW: To reunite those in search and end their inner pain at no cost to them.
Are you adopted?
MW: No. I am a birthmother.
Did people mail you requests before the website was up?
MW: Yes, and word spread by mouth who sent more people my way.
Tell us about you and this search registry?
MW: I have devoted 30 years to helping others, before and during the ICARE Registry. I have reunited 1000's of people over the years. I say touched their lives. I did the Pilot TV episode search for “Find My Family” on ABC. I have reunited people of all walks of life and professions, including I helped to find my doctor's sister for her. I am a Birthmother and know the pain we feel/felt. I understand adoptees, having found my own birthdaughter first.
How many family members have you helped?
MW: Over the years I never kept a count. Success was far more important than keeping numbers. Once a search was completed, I always felt the file findings were theirs and I never kept duplicate copies. They were private and confidential, belonging to the person I was helping.
Do you have a few reunions that stand out in your memory?
MW: The best is Kevin who ICARE REGISTRY is dedicated. I did the eulogy at his funeral.
Mary, you’ve been doing this work 30 years?
MW: Yes, finding my birthdaughter first and then realizing the methods (ALWAYS legal) would work for anyone.
What lead you to start a registry for others?
MW: It was a quicker easier way to reunite others without financial cost to them. MANY reunions have occurred because of ICARE REGISTRY.
Do you do this with a team of people?
MW: I worked alone most of the time with help now and then from my daughter. Over the 30 years I was able to establish contacts (other Searchers) in all States except North Dakota. I was helping them for free and they did the same for me. I was always trying to hold costs down for Adoptee or Birthmother. I never felt the need to make a living and only charged expenses. We accepted donations, which often helped if someone else couldn't afford even a tank of gas or reimbursement.
Are you working from an office or home?
Are you supported by advertising?
MW: No. I only charged what it cost me. Often over the years I got stiffed because I trusted too much, giving the information then waiting for reimbursement. As recently as my 2nd to the last search, I didn’t get reimbursed. But someone else will come along and send in a donation, making up for the one who didn't. I think it all worked out in the end. Even if it didn't, I will never know because I didn't keep track. I left it up to God to guide me in giving..... It was a no-pay position, often unappreciated and taken advantage of, which reminds me of many mothers. :)
You did not make an income from all this work?
MW: No, I really didn't but as one grateful person said Sunday night after matching a Registry reunion, “…another jewel in your crown when you reach Heaven. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.” OMG… that sounded so wonderful to my ears. I felt so good inside. Reuniting two people and never leaving my chair!!!!
I have been asked many times--what can an adoptee do when their records are sealed?
MW: Contact the State Search Program or contact a Judge for a court order.
If an adoptee wants to find their natural mother in Wisconsin, what do they do?
MW: Contact the Wisconsin State Search Program but the adoptee will have to pay $75 per hour and accept results based on Wisconsin laws in regard to release of information. The birthmother must be willing and sign an “Affidavit of Consent” when she is contacted. Or if an adoptee has their Adoption Social History from the State of Wisconsin - a separate charge - and with enough clues... I can do the search for my expenses. There is NO provision in the Wisconsin State Search Program for Birthmothers but that's ok. I can do those or guide them to do their own. Of the 72 counties in Wisconsin, 64 are searchable.
Do you work in other states?
MW: I mostly refer to other State Searchers or work through them to do a search.
As a search angel, and if you've been doing this 30 years, you are among the first ever.
MW: Yes, and proud of it!!!
Did you read about Florence Fisher and ALMA or other notable adoptees when you started?
MW: Yes. I read anything and everything I could find.
It's tremendously important people utilize the search angels and registries.
MW: I agree. Post everywhere you can and as often as you can. Utilize the State Search Program if you can afford it. Contact everyone you can find in the movement. Ask for help. Offer to help. Do what you can for legwork to keep costs down.
Do you have someone running the website in your absence?
MW: YES...two other people whom I trust to match have access and free rein.
Did ABC’s “Find My Family” television show utilize your services and your contacts when they were producing their program? Why do you think the program disappeared?
MW: ABC only had a 6-week slot to fill after “Dancing with the Stars” concluded. “Find my Family” got those slots. I am hoping for its return as all the reviews were favorable.
Have others mentioned your work with ICARE?
MW: I did the pilot show for “Find My Family.” I am referenced in two privately written books and adoption blue books, adoption sites, etc. I had three featured newspaper articles about me.
Do you believe lawmakers are going to wake up and open adoption records in Wisconsin?
MW: Yes...but not in my life time. I am 65 and have terminal cancer. Hopefully within the next 10 years.
What can we do to speed up the lawmakers?
MW: Keep nagging your State Representatives. Keep it alive on Facebook or wherever… tell them your plight and your need to KNOW.
Have you done any campaigns for opening sealed adoption files?
MW: I lobbied and testified at every hearing in Madison, Wisconsin concerning adoption over the years and I got what we do have with the State Search Program. I asked for the Sun.... and settled for the moon.
From the ICARE website:
To Searching Adoptees without Birth name: We suggest that you contact the State of Wisconsin Search Program. When doing so, you will receive a Search Packet that must be filled out and returned by you. The packet will detail your options, whether it is just requesting your Medical/Genetic/and Birth family Social History or asking the State to actually do your Search and contact your Birth Mother to see if she is receptive to having contact with you. There is a fee for their service. Be sure and ask up front what will be required of you so that you will know what to anticipate. You may qualify for a reduced rate based on need. Please inquire. You can make your initial request for a Search Packet to:
Adoption Records Search Program
P.O. Box 8916
Madison, WI 53708-8916
E-mail - firstname.lastname@example.org
Include your adoptive name, DOB, Adoptive parents names, place of birth, a current phone number, your current address, and the Agency that handled your Adoption, if known. Tell them ICARE referred you to them. Should they complete your search for you, let us know the results so we can post accordingly. Good Luck!
Visit ICARE at http://www.icareregistry.com/start.asp.
I wish to thank Mary Weilding for her many miracles and her tireless work on behalf of adoptees and birthmothers. Mary, you are appreciated more than you know. You are a true hero and inspiration to me.
- ► 2023 (225)
- ► 2022 (281)
- ► 2021 (257)
- ► 2020 (106)
- ► 2019 (199)
- ► 2018 (96)
- ► 2017 (147)
- ► 2016 (197)
- ► 2015 (175)
- ► 2014 (167)
- ► 2013 (221)
- ► 2012 (168)
- ▼ 2011 (143)
- ► 2010 (52)
Most READ Posts
By Trace Hentz Back in 2011, I posted a story on this blog about the book SUDDEN FURY and the grizzly murder of Maryland adoptive paren...
Editor NOTE: This is one of our most popular posts so we are reblogging it. If you do know where Michael Schwartz is, please leave a com...
Using DNA tests, Dean Lerat has created a massive family tree for the Treaty 4 territory in Saskatchewan... By day, Dean Lerat is an RCMP st...
Facts About Adoption You Won’t Hear from Adoption Professionals Every November we post accuracy about the effects of adoption on the adopt...
Coerced and forced sterilization of Indigenous women and girls: This is what genocide looks like in Canada | The StarDespite Canada’s benevolent veneer, its history is replete with examples of genocidal medical violence inflicted upon Indigenous commu...
Eric Schweig Born: Ray Dean Thrasher on 19 June 1967 Inuvik , Northwest Territories , Canada Occupation Actor/Artisan/...
I could on for an hour about this but I won't. Fathers have rights and this time, a father got his daughter back af...
This incredible interview with Jennifer Lauck, author of FOUND, struck a chord with me. Please read it: http://www.examiner.com/open-ado...
Lyncoya was a living argument for the supremacy of the white way of life. Jackson killed Creek people, took Creek land, and raised their ...
Canada's Residential Schools
You are not alone
What our Nations are up against!
To Veronica Brown
Veronica, we adult adoptees are thinking of you today and every day. We will be here when you need us. Your journey in the adopted life has begun, nothing can revoke that now, the damage cannot be undone. Be courageous, you have what no adoptee before you has had; a strong group of adult adoptees who know your story, who are behind you and will always be so.
Diane Tells His Name
We conclude this series & continue the conversation by naming that adoption is genocide. This naming refers to the process of genocide that breaks kinship ties through adoption & other forms of family separation & policing 🧵#NAAM2022 #AdoptionIsTraumaAND #AdopteeTwitter #FFY 1/6 pic.twitter.com/46v0mWISZ1— Adoptee Futures CIC (@AdopteeFutures) November 29, 2022
The truth is that it is a very lucrative business with a known sales pitch. With profits last estimated at over $1.44 billion dollars a year, mothers who consider adoption for their babies need to be very aware that all of this promotion clouds the facts and only though independent research can they get an accurate account of what life might be like for both them and their child after signing the adoption paperwork.
Original Birth Certificate Map in the USA
Why tribes do not recommend the DNA swab
Detailed discussion of the Bering Strait theory and other scientific theories about the population of the modern-day Americas is beyond the scope of this essay. However, it should be noted that Indian people have expressed suspicion that DNA analysis is a tool that scientists will use to support theories about the origins of tribal people that contradict tribal oral histories and origin stories. Perhaps more important,the alternative origin stories of scientists are seen as intending to weaken tribal land and other legal claims (and even diminish a history of colonialism?) that are supported in U.S. federal and tribal law. As genetic evidence has already been used to resolve land conflicts in Asian and Eastern European countries, this is not an unfounded fear.