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Friday, August 2, 2013

My heartbreak for Lost Bird Veronica: but I know she will find her dad again

 Our Prayers for Veronica
By Trace A. DeMeyer, author of One Small Sacrifice and Two Worlds, Lost Children of the Indian Adoption Projects

I have followed this Baby Veronica case like many of you. I have laid in bed wondering how this could happen. What is all this doing to this little girl? It's heartbreaking to me and to many of you who were adopted and placed with non-Indian parents. We know what happened to us is about to happen to her.

Many of you (adoptees and friends) have shared your feelings on Facebook and on this blog. Veronica will be 4 next month. Some of you were 4 or younger when you were placed with new parents and remember it well.

We all know adoption is a billion dollar industry. The Capobianco's have paid and want the child they paid for - it's that simple.

It's obvious to many this case is not about Veronica's best interest. It's about cold hard cash and the Nightlight Christian Adoption Agency who brokered the deal. It's about lawyers and their fees. It's about repealing the Indian Child Welfare Act so that more people can adopt Native children. It's like America dried up its fresh supply of newborns but there are plenty of Indian babies out there to "save" like Veronica. It's about opening the gates so more "Christian" families can assimilate and adopt Native children. Just like what was done before the Indian Child Welfare Act passed in 1978, when thousands of children were abducted for the Indian Adoption Projects. It's a dark chapter in American history that few people know about but I have published two books about it so far and plan to do more.

What this will do to Veronica is yet unknown but as many of you have said, at first she will be confused. She will exhibit symptoms of grief. Then she will ask questions. She will wonder why she's not with her daddy Dusten anymore.

How will the Capobianco's answer her? With lies and half-truths? Will they say they chose her? Or they paid for her? Or her mommy abandoned her? Or her mommy wanted to punish her daddy and she was caught in the middle? Or how her mommy was paid money? Or will they tell that her daddy wanted to raise her but he was too late and lost her?

To put a child through an adoption like this now, at her age, takes a certain kind of entitlement, selfishness, privilege and racial superiority - we see this in Veronica's adoptive parents and many others who call themselves Christians.

We know at the time of Veronica's birth, handed to strangers, taken away, probably not breastfed, she suffered the wound we adoptees know we have. In birth psychology it's described as the severed biological connection with our mothers, a wound compounded by mommy's abandonment and it leaves a damage that takes a lifetime to repair. If it can be repaired...

A child never chooses this. Adults do. Adults put their needs first.

When Veronica is 18 (or younger), she will look for and find the truth. I know this because I searched for my dad and found him. Veronica will find her dad again. She will read about the lies and deceptions and fighting over her in this adoption battle.

I can only hope now that Dusten has the right to see his daughter over the next 14 years.



  1. Absolutely perfectly said. Right now we need all hands on deck to keep veronica with her family where she belongs, but Nightlight Christian Adoption Agency needs to be prosecuted for willfully witholding info about Veronica's tribal heritage to skirt the law. Don't let them escape being held accountable!

    1. Thanks Anonymous and forgive me for this late reply to your comment.


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where were you adopted?