There has been a belief that the moment a child is taken from her original mother she ceases being that woman's child. This is one of the reasons many want to adopt a baby rather than an older child. They believe they are getting a "blank slate." Many people will go as far as to adopt from far away lands--as far away as possible -- so that they get the "blank slate" and as a bonus eliminate the chance that the original mother will reappear and take away what supposedly belongs to the adoptive parent -- the child, the relationship, the connection, the concept of family and so on. There is great ignorance in this thinking--similar to the thinking years ago that babies don't feel pain and thus were operated on without the mercy of anesthesia or pain blockers. Of course, science has now shown us otherwise. Babies feel pain. And you cannot stop a child from being connected to the original mother. Yes, you can take legal measures, you can take geographic measures, but you cannot change the fact of the biological link.
To further expand on this, consider this remarkable passage from Meredith Hall, author of Without a Map: "women carry fetal cells from all the babies they have carried. Crossing the defensive boundaries of our immune system and mixing with our own cells, the fetal cells circulate in the mother's bloodstream for decades after each birth. The body does not tolerate foreign cells, which trigger illness and rejection. But a mother's body incorporates into her own the cells of her children as if they recognize each other. This fantastic melding of two selves, mother and child is called microchimerism....the mother's cells are also carried in the child. During gestation, maternal cells slip through the barriers of defense and join her child's cells as they pulse through his veins...of course the implications are stunning. Mother and child do not fully separate at birth. We do not lose each other at that moment of severance."
As I wrote in my memoir One Small Sacrifice, the new science of birth psychology will forever change the way the world views adoption and its impact.
There are follow-up interviews with Jennifer at that website, a virtual blog tour - so please read them, too... Trace
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