AMERICAN INDIAN ADOPTEES: Strong as a Willow

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Friday, August 20, 2010

Strong as a Willow

My youth disappeared
under spell and dominion,
too powerless, mute, and
too weak to protest

Maid, cook, whore, child
Necessary, I believed, so
I disappeared into their idea
of what I should be

I read their desires as directions
like their force, somehow
My illusion had to be protected
with all my energy and faith

I trusted I would be safe
I told myself it was love
and that it was worth it
I was wrong, I was as good as dead

I was incapable of love
to any degree
There was no emotion
Just a numb, frozen heart

I found memories of a little princess
whose father took his piece
then a procession of narcissists
who either betrayed or enslaved

Yet even a slave is rewarded
Angels arrive, teachers, books
that open my world of silence
and give me my voice

There is no worthless left
just a force and direction
There are beliefs that allow no weakness
and no men left to dominate desire

Now, as I choose,
I am safe within my own walls,
alive in my body, strong as a willow,
as wild, as free.

© 2010 Trace A. DeMeyer

3 comments:

MplsMaryAugust 20, 2010 at 11:47 PM
This is so awesome....wonderful words to describe your feelings...Love the last paragraph..Strong as a Willow....so true.
ReplyDelete
Replies
dillweedAugust 21, 2010 at 6:04 AM
my favorite lines:
"Yet even a slave is rewarded"

and:

"My youth disappeared/
too weak to protest"

and

"I disappeared into their idea
of what I should be"

Resonate with me.
ReplyDelete
Replies
MplsMaryAugust 3, 2011 at 10:32 PM
This is so awesome....wonderful words to describe your feelings...Love the last paragraph..Strong as a Willow....so true.
ReplyDelete
Replies

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