I asked one simple question, “WHY ARE YOU ANGRY?” over 50 adoptees chimed in. Here are their responses:
|I am angry about lots of things like the list above...Trace|
Adoptees, Why Are You So Angry?
...Because anger gives me energy to handle all the hurts, if I were to just
feel my sadness I would fall into a depression. A bit of anger helps me
keep my head above water to fight for adoptions laws to change for
adoptions to be open, ethical and more support services. I work in
adoptions because I am angry with people not doing adoptions correctly
and I want to be a part of the solution and help change, influence those
around me. I am angry because I did not get a say, my loss was and
still not validated. I still don’t get a say. Reunion 24 years. Adoptive
parents died 20 years ago; yet I cannot unadopt myself. I cannot
legally be my mother’s daughter or my father’s daughter. This makes me
angry that I do not have the same self-determination than non-adoptees.
...My parents adopted me, and then treated me like shit. People always ask
me “Why did they adopt you?” It’s the million dollar question. The
closest I could come to was that I was a lemon for them and they had
buyer’s remorse. For some reason I still hung on, from the fringes and
it wasn’t until I read this page that it occurred to me that I could
simply let go and just walk away from the pain of being an outcast in my
adoptive immediate family. I haven’t yet let go, and maybe I won’t but
it really sucks to feel like you were rejected twice and still feel a
connection to people who for all intents and (insensitive) purposes…don’t want me. It
does give me some measure of comfort that at some point, should I chose
to I can decide to divorce my family and just be me, not defined by them
and all that I endured as their “Mistake.”
Many Blessings to all, and thanks for reading!
Pamela Jones AKA @freesimplyme
For any adoptees who read this that would like to be added to this poll, feel free to email me at email@example.com
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