How to Use this Blog
Howdy! We've amassed tons of information and important history on this blog since 2010. If you have a keyword, use the search box below. Also check out the reference section above. If you have a question or need help searching, use the contact form at the bottom of the blog.
We want you to use BOOKSHOP! (the editor will earn a small amount of money or commission. (we thank you) (that is our disclaimer statement)
This is a blog. It is not a peer-reviewed journal, not a sponsored publication... The ideas, news and thoughts posted are sourced… or written by the editor or contributors.
Can you help us? Here is how:
WRITE AND POST A BOOK REVIEW ONLINE:
Please know that if you write an honest book review, we are very very appreciative. Kobo, Good Reads, Apple Books, etc. - every opinion counts.
DONATE COPIES:
If you can, please donate a copy of our book titles to your local library, college or school.
Blogger forced a change to our design so please SCROLL past the posts for lots more information.
Search This Blog
What adoption cost me #NAAM2019
 |
Edie holding me in 1957 |
reblog from 2014
By Trace L Hentz
Someone asked me recently what had adoption cost me personally.
What a loaded question, I shot back in my email. I said I needed to think about it.
Obviously I didn't ask to be adopted!
This situation was thrust on me by a damaged 22-year-old small-town
Wisconsin girl who loved Chicago night-clubs and partying too much.
She didn't want me after my 28-year-old father (also a big
drinker) kicked her out. He moved back to his Illinois farm-town and
found a new wife. She went to an unwed mothers home in Minnesota and
signed me away.
If my soul wanted a big test this lifetime, this was clearly the route to take. Finding out neither would ever look for me? That painful discovery cost me.
What kind of man would desert a woman carrying his child and who would
tell a woman she cannot keep her own baby? Who made them this way?
Belief systems, religions, social workers, neighbors, parents, judges,
priests? Even your own family can be so damaged, it's risky to find
them. There are times now I wish I had never looked but I had to know
why I was adopted. Taking risks to find out the truth cost me years.
Being told by my natural mother to never contact her again? That rejection cost me.
I made all the moves, made all the calls, did all the travel and took
all the risks to find both parents. I put myself out there to join a
family who didn't even know I existed or cared that I did. That hurt
cost me.
The adoption trade in babies was booming in the 1950s. In my opinion my
adoptive parents were not carefully screened. Despite his raging
alcoholism and their marital discord after two miscarriages, Catholic
social workers still qualified them to be my parents. Very young I was
sexually molested by my adoptive dad. That betrayal cost me.
I had to pretend for years I was alright when really I wasn't. I tried
to live up to their expectations and be the baby they lost. That
impossible situation cost me.
My adoptive parents didn't know adopting kids won't fix a marriage and
might even make it worse! I had to suppress my shock and disappointment
in them for too long. It took me years to get therapy and counseling
that worked. This delay cost me.
My lack of trust and being able to love someone cost me a marriage.
Many years later I was shocked to learn my ancestry. My father, who had
the Native blood, didn't intervene to keep me. How did that make me
feel? Betrayed.
I had no idea what to think about being Shawnee/Cherokee since there was no one alive to reconnect me to my tribal culture. That cost me.
How can you measure cultural loss when there is no dollar amount or
apology that can undo what happened? There is no way to get that back.
What did adoption cost me? Everything.
What did adoption give me? The strength to persevere.
Most READ Posts
-
Editor NOTE: This is one of our most popular posts so we are reblogging it. If you do know where Michael Schwartz is, please leave a com...
-
Eric Schweig Born: Ray Dean Thrasher on 19 June 1967 Inuvik , Northwest Territories , Canada Occupation Actor/Artisan/...
-
REBLOG By Trace L Hentz (5/14/2015) So much about adoption is complicated for the adoptee. If you are like me, you ma...
-
Lost Sparrow movie/all are adoptees For about 100 years, the U.S. government supported a system of boarding schools where more than 100,00...
-
The court's goal is to work directly with tribal members, families, and state agencies on finding the best solution for the child, a...
-
By Anne Brice , Berkeley News | November 24, 2020 Subscribe to Fia...
-
The legality of ICWA, as the Act, is now being challenged. It was created in the 1970's to protect the best interests of Native Ameri...
-
-
Like other #Americans , #adoptees are struggling for stability during #COVID19 . B/c some adoptees weren’t naturalized by their US citizen ...
To Veronica Brown
Did you know?
New York’s 4o-year battle for OBC access ended when on January 15 2020, OBCs were opened to all New York adoptees upon request without restriction. In only three days, over 3,600 adoptees filed for their record of birth. The bill that unsealed records was passed 196-12.
Canada's Residential Schools
The religious organizations that operated the schools — the Anglican Church of Canada, Presbyterian Church in Canada, United Church of Canada, Jesuits of English Canada and some Catholic groups —
in 2015 expressed regret for the “well-documented” abuses. The Catholic Church has never offered an official apology, something that Trudeau and others have repeatedly called for.
ADOPTION TRUTH
As the single largest unregulated industry in the United States, adoption is viewed as a benevolent action that results in the formation of “forever families.”
The truth is that it is a very lucrative business with a known sales pitch. With profits last estimated at over $1.44 billion dollars a year, mothers who consider adoption for their babies need to be very aware that all of this promotion clouds the facts and only though independent research can they get an accurate account of what life might be like for both them and their child after signing the adoption paperwork.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please: Share your reaction, your thoughts, and your opinions. Be passionate, be unapologetic. Offensive remarks will not be published. We are getting more and more spam. Comments will be monitored.
Use the comment form at the bottom of this website which is private and sent direct to Trace.