Sure, We Lose People

My sibling Ronnie Chappelle

By Trace L Hentz, Blog Editor

I just had a birthday.  I wasn't expecting a call from Alabama where my brother Ronnie lives.  On my 9-9 birthday, his wife told me that Ronnie had died in his sleep on Sept. 6, how he'd been real sick.  His funeral was happening the next day (Sept. 10, 2026.)  

I was not going to make it all the way down to Alabama to be there, obviously.

Ronnie and I have the same dad, Earl Bland.  Earl was 18 when Ronnie was born and his new baby boy was adopted by a maternal aunt.  Growing up, Ronnie was miserable, his daughter told me. Even raised in your own family, being adopted by a relative can have its own drawbacks, as many of you have told me.

Ten years later, Earl was 28 when I was born.  Earl knew I existed, too, and I explained in my memoir what he told me, how he would have raised me.

The sad truth is my brother Ronnie and I never met.  We talked on the phone.  His daughter found me after my memoir ONE SMALL SACRIFICE was published.  When I met Earl when I was 38, he told me I had a brother, but little else. Ronnie was born in New Orleans, Louisiana.  Earl didn't tell me his name or didn't know.  Earl thought he was a lawyer in New Orleans but wasn't sure.  He was wrong.  A Navy man, Ronnie had a long military career.

I didn't think I'd ever find him.  He found me.

Now he's gone. 

Here's the kicker: Ronnie is the second brother I have lost (in the past few years), and I am not mentioned in their obits.  Ronnie's OBIT: https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/name/ronnie-chappelle-obituary?id=62373423

Who ever does genealogy needs to be aware that this happens to adoptees. In my case, TWICE! 

I need to take a break from blogging here. I may have to tear apart my kitchen again or do some mosaic tiling and hard labor to process this.  I know how to grieve, yes, cry, yes, but this pain is more anger.