been expressed or properly felt, or validated. If we have unexplored
trauma, then it’s likely we have unexplored grief too. Some of us need
to begin a grieving process that never started in order to heal. Some of
us have a life-time of grief that needs to be allowed and experienced.
We can choose to challenge our culture’s fear of grief and the dark
emotions and begin to heal and turn it around.
Grief is subversive, undermining the quiet agreement to
behave and be in control of our emotions. It is an act of protest that
declares our refusal to live numb and small. There is something feral
about grief, something essentially outside the ordained and sanctioned
behaviors of our culture. Because of that, grief is necessary to the
vitality of the soul. Contrary to our fears, grief is suffused with
life-force. It is riddled with energy, an acknowledgment of the erotic
coupling with another soul, whether human, animal, plant or ecosystem.
It is not a state of deadness or emotional flatness. Grief is alive,
wild, untamed and cannot be domesticated. It resists the demands to
remain passive and still. We move in jangled, unsettled and riotous ways
when grief takes hold of us. It is truly an emotion that rises from
soul. – by Francis Weller, from Entering the Healing Ground: Grief, Ritual and the Soul of the World
[More than ever before, I am certain that adoptees have not been allowed to grieve their loss and that creates the fog and numbness I experienced...It's time we heal...Trace]