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Tuesday, August 13, 2013

What adoptees do to survive (some call it walking in a fog)



my first memory

By Trace A. DeMeyer

The adoption industry is so fricking clever at marketing itself.  They hide that adoptees are in therapy more than any other human, and that adoptees are institutionalized more than any other person, and that adopted children today are often drugged into submission for their acting out or behaving badly.

Ask yourself: Why would anyone do this (do a stranger adoption) to a child?

This is my life, my own experience.

The breakdown I had as a baby was fear-based. I’m born, mom disappears. I am in an orphanage then foster care then adopted. This sets my adrenals into fight-or-flight. Emotionally I’m scared. A part of my mind shuts down to protect me. As an infant, I deaden myself. I want my mother but she is long gone, never coming back. Read The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier.

The science of birth psychology hasn’t caught on with the public yet but it states that babies in utero are sensing everything.  We need contact with our moms (and dads) to grow and become fully functioning.  If that bond breaks, we break.  [Read http://birthpsychology.com if you don’t believe me.  For example: stress hormones in womb may be linked to neurodevelopmental diseases such as autism and schizophrenia, which affect males more frequently or more severely than females. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/03/130304151811.htm]

So eventually I get adopted by strangers and I adjust. But I am not fully functioning. My ability to grow and trust was damaged. That’s why it’s called the primal wound.

I get along, graduate college, work as a musician. I make more bad decisions than good. I am smart enough to know I am sick. It took years (and therapy twice) to actually see how I was half-alive. The part of me I’d buried wasn’t going to walk out of the fog unless I was really safe.  It happened in my late 30s in Seattle.  When I start to feel again, it’s like I walked back in to my own body. As I told my holistic doctor, this was a serious emotional illness, what Indians call the splitfeathers syndrome. My mind protected me because it had to, for a long time. I got well. I walked out of the fog.

Are their adoptees out there who are not well?  Definitely.  Some self-medicate since we know something is wrong with us.  Some adoptees are drug addicts, alcoholics, even criminals.  Some kill themselves. Adoptee suicide rates are very high, another fact the adoption industry doesn’t mention in their forever family ads. (Read http://www.amfor.net)

So whoever invented “closed adoption” and “stranger adoption” was pretty sick themselves. Certainly after the world wars, there were war orphans. For Indian Country, there were these human experiments called the Indian Adoption Projects and ARENA Programs. Thousands upon thousands of Native children were placed into stranger adoptions, building the booming adoption industry it is today in the USA. The damage to us Lost Birds is rarely mentioned in this bad history.

Believe it or not: there are very few orphans in the entire world but the adoption industry has decided to keep selling babies -- they just call them orphans to grab our attention.

Why? The Adoption Agency morphed to serve a bigger ever-growing market: infertile couples. There are thousands and thousands of couples who can’t get pregnant.  Infertility is a silent epidemic. One thing leads to another, right? Toxic environment = infertility.

As I wrote in my op-ed for Indian Country Today published yesterday, the supply of infants is diminishing.  The adoption industry makes more than a billion dollars every year.  Where do you think they’ll go next to get a fresh supply of babies?



Excerpted from NATIONAL CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM, NCJS Journal Abstract, "ADOPTION AND MURDER" (from Psychology and Law" p.274-280, 1997, Santiago Redondo and Vicente Garrido et al, NCJS 176632)

“…although adopted children commit murders more often than commonly believed, there is resistance to making an issue of this fact. This may be because of the secrecy associated with many adoptions and the failure of criminal justice agencies to record the nature of an offender's family background. From a legal posture, an adopted child is simply the child of his adoptive parents. …the psychodynamics of adoption are easily overlooked in forensic mental health evaluations.” 


Excerpted from "ADOPTION FORENSICS: THE CONNECTION BETWEEN ADOPTION AND MURDER" by David Kirschner, PhD

“Of the 500 estimated serial killers in U.S. history, 16 percent were adopted as children, while adoptees represent only 2 or 3 percent of the general population. Adoptees are 15 times more likely to kill one or both of their adoptive parents than biological children.”

And my earlier post in 2012 about Adoption Propaganda and Dr. Phil: here

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Survivors, write your stories. Write your parents stories. Write the elders stories. Do not be swayed by the colonizers to keep quiet. Tribal Nations have their own way of keeping stories alive.... Trace

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Indian Country is under attack. Native tribes and people are fighting hard for justice. There is need for legal assistance across Indian Country, and NARF is doing as much as we can. With your help, we have fought for 48 years and we continue to fight.

It is hard to understand the extent of the attacks on Indian Country. We are sending a short series of emails this month with a few examples of attacks that are happening across Indian Country and how we are standing firm for justice.

Today, we look at recent effort to undo laws put in place to protect Native American children and families. All children deserve to be raised by loving families and communities. In the 1970s, Congress realized that state agencies and courts were disproportionately removing American Indian and Alaska Native children from their families. Often these devastating removals were due to an inability or unwillingness to understand Native cultures, where family is defined broadly and raising children is a shared responsibility. To stop these destructive practices, Congress passed the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA).

After forty years, ICWA has proven to be largely successful and many states have passed their own ICWAs. This success, however, is now being challenged by large, well-financed opponents who are actively and aggressively seeking to undermine ICWA’s protections for Native children. We are seeing lawsuits across the United States that challenge ICWA’s protections. NARF is working with partners to defend the rights of Native children and families.

Indian Country is under attack. We need you. Please join the ranks of Modern Day Warriors. Please donate today to help Native people protect their rights.

where were you adopted?

where were you adopted?

To Veronica Brown

Veronica, we adult adoptees are thinking of you today and every day. We will be here when you need us. Your journey in the adopted life has begun, nothing can revoke that now, the damage cannot be undone. Be courageous, you have what no adoptee before you has had; a strong group of adult adoptees who know your story, who are behind you and will always be so.

Join!

National Indigenous Survivors of Child Welfare Network (NISCWN)

Membership Application Form

The Network is open to all Indigenous and Foster Care Survivors any time.

The procedure is simple: Just fill out the form HERE.

Source Link: NICWSN Membership

ADOPTION TRUTH

As the single largest unregulated industry in the United States, adoption is viewed as a benevolent action that results in the formation of “forever families.”
The truth is that it is a very lucrative business with a known sales pitch. With profits last estimated at over $1.44 billion dollars a year, mothers who consider adoption for their babies need to be very aware that all of this promotion clouds the facts and only though independent research can they get an accurate account of what life might be like for both them and their child after signing the adoption paperwork.

Dawnland 2018