Victims of Adoption and Lies (in six parts)

By Trace L. Hentz (formerly DeMeyer) 

This post is a reblog from 2023/2012

I woke up with two thoughts: there are two victims of adoption who need help and not necessarily from each other: the adoptee and the first mother. Each has its own burden and neither can heal the other.

Part 1: (living with lies)

Part 2:  (lost time)

 Part 3:  (control the message)  

Part 4 (ceremony)

 
Part 5 (forgiveness)

Part 6 (identification)

 

This series ran in 2012 on American Indian Adoptees. It was my most popular series on the topic of adoption…

 

By Trace Hentz

part 4:

I woke up with two thoughts: there are two victims of adoption who need help and not necessarily from each other: the adoptee and the first mother. Each has its own burden and neither can heal the other.

“I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile I keep dancing.” That is a line in the book “Bird by Bird” by Ann Lamott.  Her comical book offers instructions on writing and life and so far -- I’ve had good belly laughs. Yep, Ann made a funny book!

In part two of her book, Ann was fighting herself over jealousy of another writer friend. She wrote, “Sometimes this human stuff is slimy and pathetic - jealousy especially so - but better to feel it and talk about it and walk through it than to spend a lifetime poisoned by it."

Poison is nothing to mess with.  I spoke with an adoptee friend last night and Levi is sure we adoptees need to create new ceremonies, even some just for us adoptees. I was nodding at every word Levi said.  A lifetime of isolation from what we know to be ours, our blood rights as Indigenous People, our language and culture and the healing offered by participating in ceremony, it was not ours growing up white and adopted and assimilated.

But we adoptees are not victims, Levi said. No, we are changed by adoption but not its victims.

I thought about ceremony, what ceremony I missed growing up, and what other Indian people probably took for granted growing up. That does make me jealous. I didn’t get to meet my grandmothers in flesh, only in dreams.

I am sad I do not how to make my own regalia. I see others dance at powwow and wish someone had time to teach me what I need to know.

I can think of a million things I’d like to know. When I met relatives in Illinois last year, I was over the moon happy.  My Harlow cousins filled many holes in my heart.

I am in reunion. Jealousy is not my poison.

For those not in reunion, their hearts ache.  We need to find a way to heal them.

Levi Eagle Feather has contributed to this blog.

 

CLICK: AMERICAN INDIAN ADOPTEES: GUEST POST: Reactive Attachment Disorder by Levi E...: Levi EagleFeather (Lakota)

Denmark Demands Respect Amid Ongoing U.S. Threats

‘Canada is next’: Inuk lawyer says Greenland’s sovereignty must be upheld VIDEO

The Cold War Over Greenland and the Inuit People at a Crossroads

The Inuit People

However, Greenland’s fate is deeply intertwined with that of its indigenous people. The Inuit constitute between 89% and 90% of Greenland’s population, maintaining their ancient heritage.

Despite facing contemporary challenges and Danish influence, the Inuit possess ancestral knowledge of the Arctic environment and are fighting to preserve their cultural identity.

Their self-determined future, from remote settlements to the capital Nuuk, is central to their opposition to any annexation. As stated jointly by Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen and Greenlandic Premier Jens-Frederik Nielsen on December 22, 2025, as cited by DW: "The island belongs to its inhabitants."

 

READ THIS:

https://www.wionews.com/photos/-world-s-largest-island-56-000-tesidents-and-more-top-8-facts-about-greenland-you-didn-t-know-1767877026472 

MINING GEM?

https://www.straitstimes.com/opinion/greenland-is-not-the-mining-gem-some-think-it-is 

North Carolina: OBC ACCESS

Johnston County Adoptees To Access Birth Records Locally In 2026

• January 1, 2026

SMITHFIELD, NC – Beginning January 1, 2026, individuals who were adopted and born in Johnston County will be able to obtain certified copies of their adoptive birth certificates directly from the Johnston County Register of Deeds Office, marking a significant change in access to vital records.

The change comes as a result of Senate Bill 248, Birth Certificates for Persons Adopted, recently enacted by the North Carolina General Assembly. The legislation authorizes Registers of Deeds offices across the state to issue certified copies of adoptive birth certificates, a service previously available only through the North Carolina Office of Vital Records.

Johnston County Register of Deeds Craig Olive (photo) said the new law gives adoptees the same level of access to their records as other county residents.

“This new law is a big win for adoptees and provides equal access to their vital records,” Olive said. “It will be a much easier, faster and less expensive process for those who have been adopted to retrieve certified copies of their birth certificates from our office rather than going through the state.”

Prior to the law’s passage, adoptees were required to request their birth certificates from the state office, often resulting in longer wait times and additional costs. Olive credited advocates and lawmakers who worked to make the change possible.

“We appreciate everyone who lobbied for this change and look forward to offering this service locally in our office,” he said.

Officials emphasized that the law does not alter privacy protections surrounding adoption records. Original birth certificates issued prior to adoption, as well as all related adoption records, will remain sealed and unavailable for public inspection.

Access to adoptive birth certificates will be limited to the adoptee and certain family members, including adopted parents, adopted siblings, spouses, children and grandchildren. Proof of relationship will be required at the time of request.

The Johnston County Register of Deeds Office is open Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Olive encouraged eligible residents to visit the office once the law takes effect.

“As always, my doors are open, and I look forward to serving all citizens of our great county,” he said.

SOURCE