excerpt:
Has being adopted impacted your romantic relationships and
friendships? My fear of abandonment often propels me to test the
devotion of romantic partners. In friendships, I'm cagey. (I know
everything about them; they know very little about me.)
Yes,
most definitely! It took me until I was 43 years old to come to a better
understanding of why I continued to make the same cycle of choices.
Three years ago, I took part in a ten-week program with a counselor
about attachment and bonding. My eyes were quickly opened to understand
how a broken mother/child bond can affect the way adoptees relate with
people and the way we react to circumstances that present themselves on a
daily basis. Prior to counseling, I was always adamant that adoption
had no effect on my life because I had a loving upbringing. Certainly,
the fact that I was raised in a nurturing family went a long way in
helping me form bonds and provide stability. However, I learned that a
child's sense of loss and fear of abandonment remains with them
(consciously and subconsciously) throughout their life. It can permeate
their interactions and relationships well into their adult life.
In
my friendships, I have a strong tendency to keep discussions on a
surface level. I rarely ask personal questions or challenge beliefs for
fear that I might be rejected or hurt their feelings. Surface is easy,
stable, and safe. Safety and stability are key for me, which is why my
past choices in life have often followed a more conservative path.
KEEP READING
a blog for and by American Indian and First Nations adoptees who are called a STOLEN GENERATION
Reference Material
- How to Open Closed Adoption Records for Native American Children (updated 2021)
- LOST CHILDREN BOOK SERIES
- NEW! Help for First Nations Adoptees (Canada)
- Split Feathers Study
- The reunification of First Nations adoptees (2016)
- You're Breaking Up: Adoptive Couple v. Baby Girl #ICWA
- FAQ ICWA 2016
- Indian Child Welfare Act organizations
- About the Indian Adoption Projects
- How to Search (adoptees)
- Soaring Angels (UPDATE 2020)
- THE PLACEMENT OF AMERICAN INDIAN CHILDREN - THE NEED FOR CHANGE (1974)
- NEW: Study by Jeannine Carriere (First Nations) (2007)
- NEW STUDY: Post Adoption (Australia)
- Dr. Raven Sinclair
- Laura Briggs: Feminists and the Baby Veronica Case...
- Bibliography (updated)
- Adopt an Elder: Ellowyn Locke (Oglala Lakota)
- MEDIA
- TWO NATIONS: Navajo (Boarding School)
- GOLDWATER
- Survivor Not Victim (my interview with Von)
- Adoption History
- Native American News Outlets
- First Nations Repatriation Institute
- FREE REGISTRY (sign up at ISRR)
- Genealogy\Indian Affairs 2021
- About Trace
- Home

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To Veronica Brown
Veronica, we adult adoptees are thinking of you today and every day. We will be here when you need us. Your journey in the adopted life has begun, nothing can revoke that now, the damage cannot be undone. Be courageous, you have what no adoptee before you has had; a strong group of adult adoptees who know your story, who are behind you and will always be so.

Did you know?
New York’s 4o-year battle for OBC access ended when on January 15 2020, OBCs were opened to all New York adoptees upon request without restriction. In only three days, over 3,600 adoptees filed for their record of birth. The bill that unsealed records was passed 196-12.

click to listen
Listening to The Other Side of Adoption with Trace A DeMeyer by Fire Talk Production https://t.co/6SGuMcotmn
— TraceLHentz (@StonePony33) January 17, 2019

Canada's Residential Schools
The religious organizations that operated the schools — the Anglican Church of Canada, Presbyterian Church in Canada, United Church of Canada, Jesuits of English Canada and some Catholic groups — in 2015 expressed regret for the “well-documented” abuses. The Catholic Church has never offered an official apology, something that Trudeau and others have repeatedly called for.

ADOPTION TRUTH
As the single largest unregulated industry in the United States, adoption is viewed as a benevolent action that results in the formation of “forever families.”
The truth is that it is a very lucrative business with a known sales pitch. With profits last estimated at over $1.44 billion dollars a year, mothers who consider adoption for their babies need to be very aware that all of this promotion clouds the facts and only though independent research can they get an accurate account of what life might be like for both them and their child after signing the adoption paperwork.
The truth is that it is a very lucrative business with a known sales pitch. With profits last estimated at over $1.44 billion dollars a year, mothers who consider adoption for their babies need to be very aware that all of this promotion clouds the facts and only though independent research can they get an accurate account of what life might be like for both them and their child after signing the adoption paperwork.

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