a blog for and by American Indian and First Nations adoptees who are called a STOLEN GENERATION #WhoTellsTheStoryMatters #WhyICWAMatters
- How to Open Closed Adoption Records for Native American Children (updated 2021)
- LOST CHILDREN BOOK SERIES
- NEW! Help for First Nations Adoptees (Canada)
- What is ICWA (2016)
- Split Feathers Study
- The reunification of First Nations adoptees (2016)
- You're Breaking Up: Adoptive Couple v. Baby Girl #ICWA
- Indian Child Welfare Act organizations
- About the Indian Adoption Projects
- How to Search (adoptees)
- Soaring Angels (UPDATE 2020)
- THE PLACEMENT OF AMERICAN INDIAN CHILDREN - THE NEED FOR CHANGE (1974)
- NEW: Study by Jeannine Carriere (First Nations) (2007)
- NEW STUDY: Post Adoption (Australia)
- Dr. Raven Sinclair
- Laura Briggs: Feminists and the Baby Veronica Case...
- Bibliography (updated)
- Adopt an Elder: Ellowyn Locke (Oglala Lakota)
- TWO NATIONS: Navajo (Boarding School)
- Survivor Not Victim (my interview with Von)
- Adoption History
- Native American News Outlets
- First Nations Repatriation Institute
- FREE REGISTRY (sign up at ISRR)
- Genealogy\Indian Affairs 2021
- WHAT is the 60s Scoop
- Search Angels (free)
- About Trace
How to Use this Blog
Search This Blog
Friday, December 13, 2013
No, I'm not crazy
I think about integrating parts of my persona that were buried or stunted or created as an adoptee growing up with strangers.
Last week I had posted on Facebook how I experienced huge chunks of CRAZY, had patterns of unhealthy behavior and even how big blocks of memory seemed hazy or gone. This does not make me any different (or better off or worse off) than others. If I am to heal myself, I need to know and see how I coped as this little girl who lived in fear and confusion.
My thoughts now? My crazy hazy chunks of time were in fact self-preservation – it was the only way I could handle what I had to face to avoid fracturing or destroying my delicate developing mind. (And this did happen to others living in a dysfunctional setting in childhood.) I am now aware I had various coping tools, as did my friends. One of the best tools was a vivid imagination. Another one: listening to the small voice inside, a voice of sanity and clarity. Another tool was determination. I was determined to survive and very determined to create a safe environment for myself as a young adult, when I could move physically and emotionally away from where I was raised. I was determined to open my adoption and find my relatives and my ancestry. I never lost that determination. I grew strong.
I had a conversation a few days ago with co-author Patricia [Our anthology is Two Worlds: Lost Children of the Indian Adoption Projects] about this process of integration, how we created little people who could handle situations, a character and persona tougher than us – and now as grown-ups, these little people are no longer needed. I am not suggesting we had multiple personalities. That is too psycho-speak for us. As babies and toddlers, we were confronted with strangers who called themselves our parents and they had their own instability. (Both of us had an alcoholic parent). Their imbalance caused our childhoods to be terrifying and unstable. That can put us in a situation of weakness and vulnerability. Our real fears made us very unstable and untrusting.
We chose to survive so we had to be creative in some way. Being creative is an outlet for a grief this enormous. Patricia is definitely an artist and I was a musician – and we both kept journals.
Add to that we are abandoned as infants and not nurtured and denied the bonds with our mother-creator. That also created an instability and frailty that carried forward from childhood to adulthood. This trauma is called the PRIMAL WOUND. Read Nancy Verrier if you are curious.
Remember the movie The Three Faces of Eve? Though Eve was an adult, she had created personalities who could stand-in for her. One movie that terrified me was SYBIL. Sally Fields played a child who was terribly abused and created numerous personalities who stood in for her while she underwent the abuse. In therapy, these movie characters found out they had created stand-ins, what I call the little people. When they are no longer needed they can melt away. Or integrate back into the soul.
Split Feathers, what American Indians call adoptees or their lost children, have this integration challenge. It has nothing to do with being crazy, though adoptees tell me they feel like they acted crazy in trying to deal with the strangers who raised us. I don’t see how we could not be crazy. What other method would work? We had to be split.
Patricia and I are both Native adoptees. We know this history now. We know it’s historical trauma in our DNA. We know we have the tools to heal this ourselves.
Even as kids we could see we were very different from our stranger parents, yet adoption forced us to pretend, be good and show we were grateful. Isn’t that crazy?
Anyone who questions the Adoption Cartel (and their propaganda and billions in profit) will be called crazy.
What is crazy are the people who believe “adoption” works so well. How a closed adoption is good – that is crazy. Punishing a woman for having a baby while unmarried and forcing her to give up her child – that is crazy. Sealing our adoption records – that is crazy. Giving people the idea they can buy an orphan – that is crazy. Believing an adopted child won’t want to know the truth or find their birth relatives – that is crazy.
There are couples right now holding a bake sale, asking their friends to raise money so that they can adopt an orphan. That is crazy – dangerously crazy! Read The Child Catchers if you want the truth about orphans (and how many of these children are not orphans at all but have living parents!! They are sold into adoption as a commodity.)
The fact is adoption is human trafficking. If a child is taken from their natural parent(s) and sold to strangers, that is trafficking. If money is exchanged for children and babies, that is trafficking. If lawyers and judges and adoption agencies charge money to handle babies for sale, they are trafficking in humans.
I do write this as a survivor of human trafficking, what was a closed adoption that I opened. I write this from a place of sanity and balance, after years of working on myself, knowing myself, finding my relatives, and yes, learning the truth.
No, I am not crazy.
Please: Share your reaction, your thoughts, and your opinions. Be passionate, be unapologetic. Offensive remarks will not be published. We are getting more and more spam. Comments will be monitored.
Use the comment form at the bottom of this website which is private and sent direct to Trace.
Canada's Residential Schools
Almost 7000 bodies found and not one member of the church has been arrested. The names are out there. The church must be held accountable. #NeverForget#EveryChildMatters— Wambli Ska Wicasa 🦅🪶 (@LakotaWambli) August 30, 2021
The Justice Department is protecting the names of many perpetrators of abuse of Indigenous children.— Charlie Angus NDP (@CharlieAngusNDP) July 8, 2021
We need a special independent prosecutor who can force the government and church to turn over the documents.
There can be no reconciliation without justice.@MumilaaqQaqqaq pic.twitter.com/5TL6OxKM5O
This is a map of every residential "school" site in Canada.— Mumilaaq Qaqqaq (@MumilaaqQaqqaq) June 24, 2021
Every dot is a crime scene.
Only a few have been investigated so far.
Canada, do not get used to these numbers.
Do not let them become statistics.
Put yourselves in the shoes of these children in the ground. pic.twitter.com/5XJS1w1ka2
Most READ Posts
By Trace Hentz Back in 2011, I posted a story on this blog about the book SUDDEN FURY and the grizzly murder of Maryland adoptive paren...
Facts About Adoption You Won’t Hear from Adoption Professionals Every November we post accuracy about the effects of adoption on the adopt...
Truth and Healing Commission on Indian Boarding School Policy | Bill Addresses Cultural Genocide Caused by Indian Boarding SchoolsLost Sparrow movie/all are adoptees For about 100 years, the U.S. government supported a system of boarding schools where more than 100,00...
Coerced and forced sterilization of Indigenous women and girls: This is what genocide looks like in Canada | The StarDespite Canada’s benevolent veneer, its history is replete with examples of genocidal medical violence inflicted upon Indigenous commu...
This incredible interview with Jennifer Lauck, author of FOUND, struck a chord with me. Please read it: http://www.examiner.com/open-ado...
Eric Schweig Born: Ray Dean Thrasher on 19 June 1967 Inuvik , Northwest Territories , Canada Occupation Actor/Artisan/...
I could on for an hour about this but I won't. Fathers have rights and this time, a father got his daughter back af...
Editor NOTE: This is one of our most popular posts so we are reblogging it. If you do know where Michael Schwartz is, please leave a com...
UPDATED Pine Ridge school’s Truth and Healing effort looks for long-sought answers Mary Annette Pember Oct 15, 2022 WARNING: This story con...
OBC ACCESS 2022
You are not alone
- ► 2022 (282)
- ► 2021 (258)
- ► 2020 (107)
- ► 2019 (200)
- ► 2018 (97)
- ► 2017 (148)
- ► 2016 (198)
- ► 2015 (175)
- ► 2014 (168)
- The Stealing of Our American Indian Children
- Capobiancos register at Target for new baby--or NOT?
- All I want for Christmas is my OBC
- Early infant mortality in Canada called 2nd worst ...
- Biggest news story in 2013? #BabyVeronica UPDATED
- The art of Ben Chosa Jr.
- No, I'm not crazy
- OHIO Governor signs Adoptee Access (updated)
- AMAZING new scholarship on Indian Slavery and Geno...
- Four Horses
- Swept up by the Relocations Programs
- ▼ December (11)
- ► 2012 (169)
- ► 2011 (144)
- ► 2010 (52)
What our Nations are up against!
To Veronica Brown
Veronica, we adult adoptees are thinking of you today and every day. We will be here when you need us. Your journey in the adopted life has begun, nothing can revoke that now, the damage cannot be undone. Be courageous, you have what no adoptee before you has had; a strong group of adult adoptees who know your story, who are behind you and will always be so.
Did you know?
Diane Tells His Name
We conclude this series & continue the conversation by naming that adoption is genocide. This naming refers to the process of genocide that breaks kinship ties through adoption & other forms of family separation & policing 🧵#NAAM2022 #AdoptionIsTraumaAND #AdopteeTwitter #FFY 1/6 pic.twitter.com/46v0mWISZ1— Adoptee Futures CIC (@AdopteeFutures) November 29, 2022
The truth is that it is a very lucrative business with a known sales pitch. With profits last estimated at over $1.44 billion dollars a year, mothers who consider adoption for their babies need to be very aware that all of this promotion clouds the facts and only though independent research can they get an accurate account of what life might be like for both them and their child after signing the adoption paperwork.
Original Birth Certificate Map in the USA
Why tribes do not recommend the DNA swab
Detailed discussion of the Bering Strait theory and other scientific theories about the population of the modern-day Americas is beyond the scope of this essay. However, it should be noted that Indian people have expressed suspicion that DNA analysis is a tool that scientists will use to support theories about the origins of tribal people that contradict tribal oral histories and origin stories. Perhaps more important,the alternative origin stories of scientists are seen as intending to weaken tribal land and other legal claims (and even diminish a history of colonialism?) that are supported in U.S. federal and tribal law. As genetic evidence has already been used to resolve land conflicts in Asian and Eastern European countries, this is not an unfounded fear.
Great post, Trace ~ I remember having many experiences of hazy, foggy, numb emotions and times of interaction in my childhood and even adult life. Adoptees use so much emotional energy navigating disenfranchised grief and thoughts. It is a lonely existence, but so thankful for voices like yours and our other adoptee brothers and sisters who are breaking the silence and bringing healing.ReplyDelete